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Your Life Choices, Sergio: Examine Them

10 Mar

tumblr_n26qp2K2fN1qftb6ko1_500Yes, we won and kept a clean sheet yesterday, but everyone seemed laser focused on Sergio’s newest hairdo during the match. ::shaking my head::  Sigh. He will do what he will do. I’m also side eyeing the additions to his tattoo. It’s getting more challenging by the second. As long as he doesn’t touch his chest, I’ll tolerate it.  I still haven’t forgiven DAgger for defacing his fabulous chesticles. Continue reading

Thursday Training & Racist Arsehole Fans Strike Again

6 Feb

370-898-_VCM8765Thumb,22Sorry I’ve been out of the loop for the entire day. Work stuff and then medical tests. Also, I seriously was too pissed off to post anything earlier. Continue reading

This Is Gonna Take Some Getting Used To…

26 Jan
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David Moyes: “My week is starting to look up!”

It’s amazing how things change on a dime, isn’t it? I’m just flashing back to the end of the last transfer window when my heart was crushed into a million pieces. I’m a neutral in this case, but it still makes me so incredibly sad. Mata loved, and was loved by, Chelsea. Continue reading

Tuesday Training, Junkgate

7 Jan
Beard training

Is he the new beard trainer that Xabi hired out of desperation?

Because I’m not sure how much longer we can deal with Karim’s Amish beard. ::shudder::  Well, people, I’m a Lozil-sicle today. When I left the house, it was 6F with a windchill of -19F.  We all look like Randy in A Christmas Story here. This ‘polar vortex’ can piss off back to Santa Land where it belongs, thank you very much. Stay warm! Continue reading

Call Of Duty: Shite Trousers Edition

22 Nov

3196520589_1_16_qDHdNSLFSergio & Cesc presented the new XBox one and let me tell you, the game console isn’t the only thing on that stage that’s going to provide hours of entertainment. Look carefully at Sergio’s crotch (Be honest, bish, that’s where you were lookin’ anyways!) Notice anything unusual? Yep, he’s rocking Frankenjeans! Let’s have a closer look. Continue reading

Okay, Sese, You’re Off The Hook (For Now)

8 Nov

tumblr_mvya173Unr1sy35u0o8_1280So someone has actually out Sergio Ramosed Sergio Ramos in the fashion department. Not possible you say? Well, I beg to differ.  I give you the fashion stylings of Barca’s Alex Song.

Now normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to Alex now that he’s no longer a Gunner, but I stumbled upon John Brennan’s article on SWOL and had to share the photos he compiled because they are jaw dropping.  I think I’m going to need to check Song’s Instagram regularly.

Let’s start out with a mild one. Red jeans, green shoes. ::shrug:: That’s just Guti going out to get a newspaper, right? But that’s just the tip of the fashion disaster iceberg. Continue reading

There Is Just No Excuse For This…

3 Nov

BYJp8FlIEAEaPbUJFC, Sese. Do you ever look in a mirror? And if you do, how are you justifying this look? From the waist down, you’re a shit kicking farmer (in what are probably $800 jeans). Your torso sports a shirt that looks like some sort of Frankenstinean marriage of Iker’s closet and a quilted Chanel handbag. And you top it all off with a leather baseball cap. As you do. You know what’s missing from this ensemble? Something shiny. NEEDS MORE SEQUINS. You’re slipping, my friend.  (I’ve given up chastising him, I’m just going to embrace the insanity.)

- Lozil

Monday Training & Moonlighting Xavi?

28 Oct

471-562-_VCM1169Thumb,8You, yes, YOU! Marcelo would like your attention while Casanova gives you his patented “Hey girl hey!” look. Ah, this team. Saturday’s defeat didn’t seem to get our boys down and they appeared in good spirits while they trained today in preparation for Wednesday’s match against Sevilla. Continue reading

What Has Happened To Our Capi?!

1 Oct

Iker bobbleheadI gasped when I saw the front page of Realmadrid.com  What has happened to Iker? He looks so emaciated that he’s like a bobblehead. That’s not good. I hope this is just a bad angle. Because otherwise, I’m going to fly to Madrid and force feed him some pasta. This is bringing all my Italian/maternal instincts to the fore. If anything, I thought he’d put on some pregnancy sympathy weight.

- Lozil

When Bad Haircuts Are Immortalized…

9 Sep

Thought you’d seen the end of bleach blonde Sergio? Sadly, the answer is no. Real Madrid has teamed up with LINE for some free online stickers for their smartphone app.  Continue reading

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