UPDATED: Bits & Bobs: The “I Need A Cocktail Something Fierce” Edition

Oh boy, it has been a long day. I was up really early working from home while waiting for not one, but two (!), visits from the air conditioner repairman and considering how humid and gross this NYC summer has been, it was an absolute must. So, now I’m a couple of hundred bucks poorer, but the house is cool again. Alas, my brain is fried though. Summers are supposed to be slow, don’t you think? Why is work so busy? Argh. Anyhow, I’m going to drop some bits and bobs that I’ve collected on y’all, then pour myself a nice glass of wine and kick back for the evening.

To start things off, the fabulous torso of Sami Khedira! He and Lena are now in Miami. However, he’s sporting the same trunks that Mesut and Sergio had last summer.  C’mon, Sami! Those trunks are sooooo 2011! He still looks hot as hell.

They started out with a nice little bike ride before hanging out on the beach looking fabulous and all in love (as per usual). Too sweet, these two.

Looks like these pictures were taken on two different times/days or she changed bikinis mid-way through their beach frolicking. She looks great in both!

Sami’s shirt says “Dream Killer” – trust me, honey, you ain’t killing my dreams especially after that first shirtless shot. Hells yeah!

Here’s someone we haven’t seen much of this summer: Pipita! There were a few shots of him on vacation (location unknown by me) on the Higuainita tumblr. Every shot is a straight up “Hola Bonita!” moment.

I also stumbled across this shot of Albiolita from last summer in China. I guess we didn’t realize how long ago this started. Oh, the bromance!

Blue-Nicole had some more pictures of Sergio Ramos poolside in Marbella and also one of him with some fans. Shirtless Sese is never unwelcome.

Cris tweeted another picture from his fishing adventure this time with Irina. I love how relaxed and happy they look around each other. They could be any other cute couple on vacation, albeit in this case they’re world famous hot people. I like these two together so much.

Here’s a couple of fan shots of Nando in Dubai. In one shot, you can see him holding one of the kids’ hand. I love how he and Sergio seemed have switched MOs. Sergio is always on the beach, Nando is always in the mall.

What do I spy hanging from Nando’s shoulder there? Is that a Louis Vuitton murse? I think Sergio has been a very bad influence on our boy! I’m sincerely hoping that Olalla was all like “Hold my purse for a second while I wrangle this child” or something to that effect or Nando is going over to the Murse Dark Side. We all know that the RM boys can’t be parted from their Vuitton.  What would Atleti say, Nando?!

Mesut posted some pictures on Facebook from his vacation in Las Vegas. Since he’s actually *in* them, I’m guessing that there won’t be any long discussions on their legitimacy? 😉 Nah, I’m sure there will be, but I’ve had a ridiculously tough week and I’m rocking a headache that won’t quit, so I’ll leave everyone else to that. I’m just holding on until I can have that glass of wine and rest.

Oh and the person who posted the Mesut/Nasri clubbing shots (One Touch Football) put up some clearer versions of them. So, here you go.

Speaking of party boys, this article from TMZ made me gag. Way to come off like a total tool, Benz! More money than sense, I tell you.  Do you really need to get busted for speeding again? Because you can’t tell me that you’re going to keep that Lamborghini at 55 mph, honey.

“Missy Elliott isn’t the only rich person drooling over the new $380,000 Lamborghini Aventador — TMZ has learned, Real Madrid stud Karim Benzema recently rented one in Miami … for $5,000 A DAY.

Sources tell TMZ, 24-year-old Benzo picked up the hot new Lambo (in white) from Lou La Vie Exotic Car Rental on June 28th — and drove it around Miami for a week … partying all over the city, hitting up the usual hot spots … LIV … Mansion … you name it.

But he didn’t drive THAT much — we’re told Benz only racked up 180 miles on the car in 7 days … way below his daily 50-mile allowance.

All told, the rental cost $35,992.75.

FYI — Benzema’s one of the highest paid soccer players in the world. In 2009, he signed a 6-year deal with RM worth a reported $50 million.

SEE AMERICA???? SOCCER IS COOL!!!!”

Sheesh, why didn’t he ask Cristiano to borrow his for a trial run or something? Could have saved himself some scratch!

Watishista Theresa found some pictures of Iker in Houston on Twitter today although she has yet to track down the man himself.. He’s looking very…bright in that first shot. Yikes.

I managed to find a couple more shots from the training and the press conference. Those are some lucky kids! (Pix via Daylife and RealMadrid.com)

Iker looks so incredibly happy on the pitch with the kids and so incredibly bored in the press conference. I can’t blame him in either circumstance.

Iker posted on his Facebook earlier “Good morning Houston, Texas, EEUU! Thank you all for the warm welcome and thanks to BBVA Compass for giving me the chance to visit this great city!”

Marcelo cracked me up today by posting a picture from last year’s UCLA training and saying “A hug to everyone!” And you know he means it. Congrats to Marcelo for being the first Madridista to participate in two Olympic games. He won a bronze medal in 2008.

He also posted a picture of the telenovela he was watching. Doesn’t that shot look like Demi Moore (circa Ghost) embracing a Pique/Ricky Martin hybrid wearing a very proper pearl necklace? Please tell me that this is true and not my imagination because that would be AWESOME! I can just hear the strains of ‘Unchained Melody!” Time for some potter’s wheel sex, y’all (with Demi taking the lead)!

Marcelo posed for a shot with his bud, Thiago Silva and they had plans to get back to playing Call of Duty tonight as Marcelo posted a shot of the game screen (I’ll spare you that).

Neymar got into the act as well, posting this group shot of the Brazil boys trying to look all badass. Again, it’s like when a bunch of puppies try to growl and be scary. ::snicker:: Sorry, guys.

He also posted this fantastic picture of himself and Pato engaging in a little, erm, water play. I have no idea what’s going on, but the shot is great.

Brazilians were everywhere today for some reason. Pele tweeted vintage pictures of himself and Mick Jagger while wishing the Rolling Stones a happy 50th anniversary (What?! and Wow!) Check out young Mick!

David Luiz and his bud Rami took in a concert and by looking at the gifs below (courtesy of fernando94luiz), can you guess who they were seeing? Oh, Michel Telo, you’re continuing your rampage on the world’s psyche, aren’t you? You crafty bugger! I always picture Michel, in a lair deep underneath a volcano, petting a fluffy cat and giggling maniacally: “First, Brazil, then the world!” Dr. Oh Hell No, if you will.

Carol Celico wins today’s “Did you really need to post that?” award as she tweeted this shot from her perspective in the dentist’s chair before getting an extraction.

Then she tweeted this shot of her, the dentist and her mami. Good thing she didn’t bring Kaka with her or Shigs would have snapped.

I can just imagine her whimpering in the corner mumbling something about “Marathon Man” (As an aside, there was an actor in that movie who took the stage name Ben Dova. I’m not kidding! His real name was Joseph Späh. He was a comedian AND one of the survivors of the Hindenberg. That’s pretty wild!)

Anyhow, on to some more serious stuff. AS printed an article the other day saying that Guti is retiring and getting his coaching license. As I told watishista jellyace today, I didn’t want to post anything about it until Guti said it himself. He hasn’t, so it’s not official, but here’s the article anyhow.

What is official is that Real Madrid and Galatasaray have agreed to terms on the transfer of Hamit Altintop. He’s already joined their training camp.

I meant to mention this last week but in addition to approving the use of goal line technology, FIFA got their heads out of their arses and finally reversed the 2007 ban on wearing of hijabs. Now, they agreed in principle in March, but it needed ‘further evaluation’ before a final decision was made on July 2nd. Of course, it comes too late for the women of the Iranian Women’s Soccer Team, who had their dreams crushed during Olympic qualifying. My thoughts are going to be with them when I watch the Olympics this summer. This still breaks my heart.

Another thing that breaks my heart? Sexist idiots (and don’t get me started on the John Terry trial). Watishista Em sent me this obnoxious shot. People, this fucking crap is some arsehole’s Twitter avatar. Sian Massey, who is hella awesome doesn’t deserve this treatment. So, @dwighty33, I gotta know – do you come with your own cave and club? ‘Cause this shit is straight up Neanderthal. Grow the fuck up. Sorry that you’re threatened by women who can get the job done. It leads me to believe you can’t.

I found this brilliant shot of an uber-intense Mourinho from his visit last month to Singapore. I hope it haunts douchey33’s dreams.

And now, my dear friends, I really need to eat dinner, drink that glass of wine and get some sleep. It’s almost 10:00 PM here in NYC. It has been a long ass day. Now, I’m going to go have myself an (admittedly tame) Friday night.

UPDATE: Okay, remember our “things come in threes” reference to peen yesterday? Well, you can thank watishista jellyace for finding the latest peen. I saw the link on Kickette to this Thomas Mueller shot, but I didn’t click on it because I thought that it was THIS legendary Thomas Mueller shot that we linked to last year. But lo and behold, it’s new peen! I guess that makes jelly our Queen of Peen for today. 😉 Dubious distinction, lady, but you’re the tops at peen spotting, at least for today. It’s been a real peen fiesta this week. (How many more times can I say peen? Enough, enough! Time for me to sleep! I’m getting loopy!)

Besos,

Lozil