Hello Dollies

23 Aug

Manuel Neuer

How many times have you seen a player so adorable that you wish you had a big ol’ plush doll of them to snuggle with? Marcelo springs immediately to mind. Well, Bayern Munich went ahead and made that wish a realityOur buddies over at Kickette discovered the (presumably not anatomically correct) Thomas Mueller doll and I went to the website to see if I could find a few more. I was not disappointed.

Thomas Mueller

Now some of the choices were understandable: Basti Schweinsteiger, Philipp Lahm or Mario Gomez (I love the back with his little buzzed/curly haircut).

Bastian Schweinsteiger

Philipp Lahm

Mario Gomez Front

Mario Gomez Back

Arjen Robben seems to be a rather strange choice but perhaps appealing to fans of the Dutch National Team? ::shrugs::

Arjen Robben

However, seriously, who in their right fucking mind would want to cuddle up with a frigging Franck Ribery doll?! I just can’t even…

Ribery: Underage Hooker Doll Not Included

Good lord, that just completely freaked me out. What’s next? A plush John Terry (whose tiny little pants can’t stay up)? A plush Andy Carroll (with pony tail & arrest record)? I can’t wait for the Joey Barton doll with its little plush volume of Nietzche.

That said, I would love a range of Real Madrid dolls, preferably ones that, you know, actually resembled the players (unlike these). A little Ozil or Khedira with tiny interchangeable headbands, a Sergio doll with a closet full of multicolored pants, Iker and his murse, Cristiano & big Gucci belt buckles, Plush Pipita and his big old squooshy booty… Imagine the possibilities!

– Lozil

11 Responses to “Hello Dollies”

  1. Katie Ann August 23, 2012 at 11:37 pm #

    I’m kiiiind of creeped out by these.

    But your RM suggestions? Awesome.

    • headbandsandheartbreak August 23, 2012 at 11:45 pm #

      Me too! Especially the Arjen Robben & Franck Ribery dolls. The Philipp Lahm doll’s eyebrows aren’t prominent enough.

  2. swingingmouse August 23, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    Oooh, oooh, Xabi with exchangable suits and GQ Magazines…. Esteban with a Jack Sparrow costume! XD I’m going crazy.

    • headbandsandheartbreak August 23, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

      LOVE IT!

      • headbandsandheartbreak August 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm #

        There should also be a Kaka doll with a huge grin, a bible and an ax. I would so get that for Shigs for Christmas.

        • Jenny August 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

          OMG you wicked thing.

        • shiggers August 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

          Sick and wrong, lady. Sick and wrong.

          • headbandsandheartbreak August 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

            But how awesome would it be to watch you unwrap that on Christmas morning? The big grin would be the first thing you would see, the plush ax would be the next. 😉

  3. Jenny August 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    Samisut dolls with interchangeable head-bands. OMG

  4. MesӦ August 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

    omg! why do i not have one already?! these are awesome. i want a Neuer one and a Gomez one!!! and a Real Madrid range of these would actually be perfection :O i think i would die of excitement

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