We’ll Get Dortmund Next Time

28 Oct

I can never stay angry at this team. Frustrated? Yes, but never angry. Cristiano’s wedgie helps in improving my mood & keeping me ever optimistic. So…we lost one. That’s how things go in the group of death, at least we’re still the prettiest! 😛 But seriously, we’re only one point behind Dortmund & with two home matches to go, we can still finish as group leaders. We just need the goals, goals, goals, & hopefully at the end of the season, RM will reward our heartaches with trophies.

I honestly love these pre-game moments, I always seem to miss them or my streams don’t air them (BOO!). No one should be deprived of this goodness.

Pre-game besito.


Pre-game *Walk like a Perfectionnnn*

Pre-game use Iker to balance yourself.

And THE highlight of all Pre-game moments….STRETCH. THEM. GLUTES! Way to woo your German when his back is to you, shame.

I don’t know about y’all but these beautiful, itty bitty, German babies were almost stealing the show, I say almost because it’s hard to compete with the woofness standing behind them.

That little girl knows what she likes! A future Watishista right there. She can be Lozil’s mini-me.

This team photo is awesome for so many reasons, eleven to be exact, but also for the handsiness going taking place on both sides of the picture. Cris has got a handful of FSG hip, *I put my hand up on your hip & when I dip, you dip, we dip* and then Sergio’s got a bit of Iker’s waist! There could’ve been more handsiness taking place, but we’re not lucky enough to have a view from behind 😦 Although, Xabi looks like he’s making the one eye closed, “oh yeah work that Q-tip” face, so I can only imagine what Sami or Varane are doing….maybe it’s Sami and Varane.

We wish.

Who wears short shorts?

Ozi wears short shorts.

It’s not an illusion, Sergio has a long duk dong, the Men’s Health spread taught us that.

“Long Duk Donginho.”

We were forced into our first change at the 20 minute mark, when poor Sami had to be taken out & replaced by Modric.

Y’all know what happened in the 36th minute, Pepe’s little (well not little) defensive mistake resulted in Kehl being fed the ball, who sent it straight to Lewandowski, who sent it straight past Iker. A pair of goals made their way past Iker during the match, but he made a hell of a job the rest of the match. As always, our man was making some amaysing saves.

We couldn’t let Dortmund have the lead for too long, could we? It took two minutes for everyone to get their shit together and reciprocate. I guess Cris’ moves on Ozi in the pre-game moments worked, because FSG did some wooing of his own when he assisted our only goal, passing straight to the goal scoring, Thigh Master.

“Your glutes deserve goals.”

Just before halftime, Sergio’s chance at goal was sent sky high….deja…I won’t say it.


The 64th minute brought on another Dortmund goal, scored by Schmelzer. Ten minutes later, Mou swapped Benz for Booty but the game was sealed for the night.

A match with pre-game treats, needs post-game treats. FSG! FSG! FSG!

“Oh yeah, that’s hot.”

“Can I see that again?”

“Maybe later? I give you ride home.”

The woofness then made their way to & through the airport to head home….hopefully, where there are many more pairs of sheer knee socks. I’m not too embarrassed to say I like the look, or should I be? There’s just something yummy about it, I’m sure Karankinky would agree…he’s into that stuff too.

We’re not the only ones taking issue with Iker’s manbags! Take it away lady! Confiscate that thing!

Pics & Gifs via GFSports, lumipallo-cr7-rm, gladysc, serhios, leyenda-personal, & tfortravis.




10 Responses to “We’ll Get Dortmund Next Time”

  1. Miss_F October 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

    Ronaldo’s bum is quite yummy!

  2. CinematiqueChic October 28, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    Agree – can’t stay angry at ’em. Because they’re the awesome. And we will whoop Dortmund at home!

  3. Mel October 28, 2012 at 6:28 pm #

    Does Özil have one of those tanning/spaceships too? He looks very tan!

    • maisoun October 29, 2012 at 10:45 am #

      Either that or he shared Sergio’s…if ya know what I mean 😉

  4. black widow October 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm #

    i see albiol is pulling the sexy mr bean thing again in that fourth-to-last photo!

    i can’t get with the sheer knee socks. they reek of old man to me!

    those little mascots are adorable. i wonder if those kids know how lucky they are!? 😉

  5. Katie Ann October 28, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    Loooove all of your captions. They crack me up. I lost it at Xabi’s hippy hippy shake, and at basically every pic of Sergio (One little thing: the stretch Ozil’s doing is for his calves, not his glutes, I think). The socks look oddly good on Cristiano, and I’m not sure how I feel about that, heh.

    Semi-unrelated: I wanted to hug Cristiano after tonight’s game. I don’t usually- he’s not my thing- but tonight? Tons of hugs.

  6. Laurean October 28, 2012 at 8:30 pm #

    I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed those pics where Sergio was all tangled with Lewandowski. I hate that he’s with Dortmund but yeesh Lewandowski caught my eye at the Euros 🙂

  7. MissLadya October 29, 2012 at 5:10 am #

    Aww, how could you not include that awesome MesMats moment with Mesut on the ground and Sir Mats standing over him, holding his hand so gentlemanly?? … Oh, righ, because you aren’t creepily obsessed with them like I am 😛 Still, I squealed.

    My mom was bored so she was sitting on the couch next to me, folding her laundry, while the game was playing (live stream on laptop, HDMI cable so I can watch it on the flatscreen). She behaved for the first twenty or so minutes, refraining from cracking any jokes, and then suddenly she says, “That German team looks like a swarm of bees.” And then proceeded to hum Flight Of The Bumblebee all the way until halftime. I would have been exasperated … but she had a point. Never noticed it before, but they do look like bees, which I find rather adorable! 😀

    • maisoun October 29, 2012 at 10:49 am #

      If I had found the pics or a gif they would’ve been included! I’m not really selective with the content of the recaps, whatever I find is going up. But if you ever find something that you want to see in the recap, tweet the HB account or my own, @ihearttomas. 🙂

      • MissLadya October 29, 2012 at 11:51 am #

        I do have the pic, as well as a lovely side-by-side comparison between it and another great MesMats moment after the Germany v Italy game which was almost identical. Mats always seems to be picking Mesut off the floor XD

        But I don’t use Twitter. Twitter is eeeeeevil! I hear it sucks out the soul of your unborn child! *shifty eyes* … Well, that, and the fact that I have absolutely NOTHING to tweet about, so I can’t be bothered making an account 😛

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