La Roja Official Pictures

14 Jun

tumblr_mod6muT53O1r3p0vko1_500La Roja had their official pictures taken, which is always a cause for dread. As a rule, these things never seem to turn out all that well. Some are not so bad and some are downright hideous.  Here’s some close ups…

Arbeloa? More like Arbelicious!

Arbeloa? More like Arbelicious!

Chori looking dorky

Chori looking dorky but cute


Soldado (a bigger smile would have been nice – he has a lovely one)


Javi (Adorbs, but a looking a tad ‘stunned by a blunt object’)

Pepe Reina looking Pepe Reina-ish

Pepe Reina looking Pepe Reina-ish (aka ready to cause trouble)

Jesus "Laser Beam Eyes" Navas

Jesus “Laser Beam Eyes” Navas – You’re getting verrrrrrry sleepy.

Looks like Silva's mama cut his hair

Looks like Silva’s mama cut his hair

Nacho Monreal

Nacho Monreal (looking ‘first day of school’ nervous)

Cesar Azpilicueta: "DAAAAAAAVE!"

Cesar Azpilicueta: “DAAAAAAAVE!”

My beloved Spanish pixie Santi Cazorla

My beloved Spanish pixie Santi Cazorla

Capi Iker

Capi Iker

Our fave naughty pony

Our fave naughty pony

Um, what's with the chin scruff, Nando? Please remove immediately.

Um, what’s with the chin scruff, Nando? Please remove it immediately.

Looking mighty fine, Mata!

Looking mighty fine, Mata!

I wasn’t able to find close up shots of everyone, but of course, I saved the best for last. CESC.

What the ever loving fuck, pray tell?

What the ever loving fuck, pray tell?

The man is a millionaire. Could he not find someone to shave his copious neck hair?!  I am so completely horrified by this picture. I can’t even, Cesc. Ew, just ew. Even Chori’s tamed that shit and you know he must have to shave every 20 minutes.  I just do not understand this at all. Unless, of course, he was midway through morphing into a werewolf at the time this was taken. If so, my apologies.

However, it could be worse, I guess. Check out what the photographers did to Italy. They look like straight up thugs. They made Gigi Buffon look ugly! WHO DOES THAT?! Claudio Marchisio’s eyes aren’t highlighted enough! WHY GOD WHY? Federico Marchetti looks like the dude in Army of Lovers. This is NOT GOOD. Oh, the humanity!

tumblr_modw4ebLWB1r3p0vko2_r1_500Sheesh. When are they going to learn to hire watishistas to handle these sorts of things?

(Thanks to GFSports and comeonblues for all the photos, both blissful and traumatic.)

– Lozil

16 Responses to “La Roja Official Pictures”

  1. Casey June 14, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

    BHAHAHAHAHA I have never laughed so much this year …

    I have to admit Cesc is defiantly NOT getting better with age … I remember his Arsenal days … he was smoking WHOA (tame yourself girl) Now where do I start : WHAT THE FUCK is going on with your hair , that tooth and that beard , as a wise women once said “ew , just ew ” . I feel extremely bad for Daniella I wouldn’t do Cesc in a million years !

    • headbandsandheartbreak June 14, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

      If you want to relive some other Cesc horror moments, there was this which Carlota saved us from (bless her) but NOTHING beats this. Worst picture of him EVER.

      • Casey June 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

        In the last picture all he needs is a van to lure little kids into

      • Rose June 14, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

        OMG, please don’t remind us of the days of La Peluca de Cesc. Thank goodness for Carlota.

      • number1barcachick June 14, 2013 at 10:03 pm #

        oh good Lord Francesc look’s excuse my language F-ING!!!!! awful i mean my word can someone please tell me what happened, his dad look’s so good for his age and i think he looks like him, Daniella or Corlota please we beg you do something, he is aging badly 😦

        • number1barcachick June 14, 2013 at 10:04 pm #

          ohh but sergio is looking yummy as always and Mata do you want to be my teddy bear

        • jellyace June 16, 2013 at 2:42 pm #

          If this is what fatherhood has done to Cesc, I am very afraid for Iker!

  2. Natalie June 14, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

    OMG cesc scared the living daylights out of me!! WHY geez, go shave NOW!!!!
    New eye candy on the block Cesar is looking fiiiine !!! me like 😉

  3. la-la June 14, 2013 at 6:07 pm #

    Hahahaha! When it all kicked off in fangirl about Daniella I recall saying to a friend ‘Maybe she’s sexually attracted to the kind of guy who can grow a full beard in the space of a day’. I was actually joking. Nope, no joke. Cesc is teenwolf. That photo will haunt my dreams. While we’re here, can someone explain how Iker is hot? Still not getting that. Sorry, I know you all love him but still…

    • Katie Ann June 14, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

      “Cesc is teenwolf,” — YES. That is perfect.

      As for Iker, I can’t speak for everyone, but I think he’s got great eyes, a cute smile, and some seriously jacked arms. Sadly, one can’t always see those things in his photos (certainly not in this photo), but that’s the appeal for me.

  4. Patricia June 14, 2013 at 6:18 pm #

    As much as I love our boys in red (my god, the Chelsea triplets and those hypnotically-eyed Man City wingers!), I’ve gotta give a little bit of love for Tahiti. Can’t find their official photos, but they look adorable in their retro Beach Boys gear:

    Even if they’re underdogs, they win top honors for style.

    • Backwards June 15, 2013 at 5:26 am #

      Bless. All they need is a pina colada!

      Handsome men (not cesc…i can’t deal with him right now)

  5. Allison June 14, 2013 at 6:49 pm #

    So many neck beards, not just Cesc. I volunteer to be the official La Roja clipper to keep that shit in line.

    I think “Dave” has come out on top here. Such a cheeky little smile!

  6. Alice June 15, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

    Holy hell! Cesc is a unibrow away from dragging his knuckles on the floor. Gahross!
    Sergio, on the other hand, is doing his thang. Love the cute smirky Nando pic.

  7. Rainn August 27, 2014 at 1:52 pm #

    Lol!!! I’m going through all your Fernando Torres tagged posts.
    Yes. I do not have a life. I’m a stay at home mom of a 1-1/2 year old. I have not read a book or a magazine in forever. I only have my iPhone to save me once in awhile. Anyway, when i get a little (very little) time to myself I mostly read Sernando fics and this blog. HB&HB gives me a welcome respite from Disney. I have been chuckling all morning reading your posts. I especially love the extra looove given to Fernando and Sergio and the loooove between the two of them
    (under the sheets. wink wink)
    This blog is a source of lots of giggling for me. Thanks

    • headbandsandheartbreak August 27, 2014 at 3:11 pm #

      Aw! Thanks for your sweet words! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the blog. We’ll try to always keep the Sernando love flowing here. 🙂

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