Call Me Old Fashioned…

18 Jun

No5…but I think butt cleavage is for private times…and plumbers. So I was surprised to see Wojciech Szczęsny’s lady friend Patrycja Wojnarowska flashing crack at a social event

Now, I know it’s a Playboy party, but SERIOUSLY. What the hell?  It’s not like the dress is simply too big and slipped. She’s posing to show it off, so it’s obviously intentional. She’s a cute girl and I’d probably be thrilled if my arse was that small (Actually, maybe not, I’m fond of my ba-donk as it is), but this seems a bit much to me. I know nothing about Patrycja so I’m not sure if this is typical or if she’s some sort of daring model/political performance artist/body positive activist. ::shrugs:: Well, she’s young so this is the time to do wild stuff. I’d just ask her to put down a towel when she took a seat or something because hygiene, people! Aw, who am I kidding, I’d probably spend the evening getting drunk and trying to throw popcorn at her coin slot because that’s how I roll (like a female Beavis). Here’s a few more (rear) views of the Crack Heard Round The World.

Sigh. What can you do? Kids are gonna get crazy and push limits. It’s a thing. But honey, it must be said: crack is wack.

Now I’m humming “Ass Crack Fever” to the tune of Ted Nugent’s “Cat Scratch Fever.”  It’s one of those days, folks.

– Lozil

22 Responses to “Call Me Old Fashioned…”

  1. Kristine June 18, 2013 at 2:02 pm #

    Hahahahaha! Ewww. Plus the fact that she has no ass whatsoever, makes it even worse!!!

    • headbandsandheartbreak June 18, 2013 at 2:03 pm #

      Yeah, if she had a Pipita style booty, it would have made a heck of a lot more sense. But the young lady was not blessed with an applebum.

  2. Ola June 18, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

    Eeeww. Just eww. But I support the idea of “throwing popcorn at her coin slot” 😀

  3. maisoun June 18, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

    I was sure that the booty had to have been photoshopped & then I saw the whole gallery of crack….

    I’m not even sure how to comment yet…but shouldn’t she have made sure there was absolutely no tan line on dat ass (or lack thereof) ? She’s got gradient crack going on and that’s a worse look than an assless dress.

    • jellyace June 19, 2013 at 11:07 am #

      I so agree on the gradient thing. Would have looked better with a fine tan. But did we really need to see her plumbing?

  4. kel June 18, 2013 at 3:37 pm #

    Omg who would even design this letalone wear it?
    I love how everyone would have hdato talk to her all night like her ass wasn’t hanging out

    • headbandsandheartbreak June 18, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

      I know! It’s like the elephant in the room. You’d have to pretend that her arse wasn’t on display when you’re eating canapes. AWKWARD.

    • consuela June 18, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

      Or we should put the picture for Wal-Mart people. That’s about what I think of her dress and she probably does not think much of herself to wear that with half your ass out. I just don’t get it. Please someone explain it to me!

  5. Mehreh June 18, 2013 at 4:29 pm #

    i don’t understand this at ALL. kids these days?

    i’m going to show this picture to my mom to get back at her for all the times she said i wasn’t leaving the house in that because it showed too much of my booty.

  6. Dr Heidi June 18, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

    Um Sergio? Assless green jeans please…..

    • consuela June 18, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

      Now I could go for that!

  7. number1barcachick June 18, 2013 at 5:40 pm #

    i maybe old fashion but if it’s one thing my mommy taught me im not letting go off is if you can’t wear underwear with a dress do not wear it, or if you can’t move around without showing something it’s too revealing don’t wear it, i know its playboy but no just no

  8. Natalie June 18, 2013 at 8:49 pm #

    i don’t think it is an old fashioned thing, it is more of a “are u nuts don’t hang with ur ass out at an event thing!!!” WTF was she thinking, really???

  9. Rose June 18, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

    Um, she’s doing it wrong.

  10. drea June 19, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

    Ok, that dress is obviously too big/long for her. I’ve never seen anyone do that much ass cleavage. Usually, it’s just a hint at the top, right? I want to say a whole bunch of things that would make me sound like my mother (oh, the irony) but whatever. There are some days I just have no patience for these famewhoring WAGs.

  11. Logan June 21, 2013 at 1:48 am #

    SOS!

  12. Jake July 19, 2013 at 10:32 pm #

    Well, if you guys are going to poo-poo her for that dress, then I’ll have her all to myself! And she’ll be able to wear that WHENEVER she wants — especially when I am around to enjoy the view!

  13. imran October 20, 2015 at 5:41 pm #

    beautiful dress I would buy for my wife to wear during parties.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s Official: Xavi Really Got Married | Of Headbands and Heartbreak... - July 13, 2013

    […] Let’s keep it about the dress. Much like we did when Patrycja Wojnarowska went out in that Ass Crack Special dress. Here’s the […]

  2. Bitsy Bobsy Part II | Of Headbands and Heartbreak... - September 21, 2013

    […] shared a shot from Allure and it’s one of those arse cleavage dresses. I didn’t dig it when Patrycja Wojnarowska did it and I’m still not down. Cover up the plumber butt, […]

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