Okay, Sese, You’re Off The Hook (For Now)

8 Nov

tumblr_mvya173Unr1sy35u0o8_1280So someone has actually out Sergio Ramosed Sergio Ramos in the fashion department. Not possible you say? Well, I beg to differ.  I give you the fashion stylings of Barca’s Alex Song.

Now normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to Alex now that he’s no longer a Gunner, but I stumbled upon John Brennan’s article on SWOL and had to share the photos he compiled because they are jaw dropping.  I think I’m going to need to check Song’s Instagram regularly.

Let’s start out with a mild one. Red jeans, green shoes. ::shrug:: That’s just Guti going out to get a newspaper, right? But that’s just the tip of the fashion disaster iceberg.

Remember Sergio’s English gentleman phase? Well Song has one upped with him an “English Gentleman/Michael Jackson Bad Tour/I Fell In A Vat Of Bleach and I See You That Ubiquitous Brando D-Squared T-shirt & Raise It To A Hoodie” phase. That’s like slapping Sergio with a neon leather glove and challenging him to duel with large bedazzled belt buckles at dawn. That he has the boots with multiple color “shin guards” and is showing them off is just plain mean. But hey, that’s just some rank amateur shiz. When you get the boots decorated like Kaka’s shinguards THEN we’ll talk, Alex. tumblr_mvya173Unr1sy35u0o4_1280He sure does have some sort of thang for shoes, that much is obvious. Even in his tamer outfits, there’s some sort of “statement” shoe.

Zippers, buckles, neon. Why would one do that to a sneaker?

Zippers, buckles, neon. Why would one do that to a sneaker?

All the attendant fripperty and he forgets a belt? Opportunity wasted there, dude.

All the attendant frippery and he forgets a belt? Opportunity wasted there, dude.

Alex is beginning his transformation into a Cyberman from the feet up.

Alex is beginning his transformation into a Cyberman from the feet up.

The velvet, the lapels, the piping in the bleached jeans...::headdesk::

The velvet, the lapels, the white piping in the bleached jeans…::headdesk::

Leather cropped hoodie, leather pants, leather lady chaps. Oh the horror!

Leather cropped hoodie, leather pants, leather lady chaps. Oh the horror!

tumblr_mvya173Unr1sy35u0o3_1280This last outfit is the most likely to be worn by Sergio Ramos. Ridiculous jeans, big belt buckle and tight white shirt buttoned up right to the top. However, Alex makes it his own by adding a jaunty scarf a la Alan in Scooby Doo. That last touch is what takes it from typical ‘baller fashion crime and launches it into the Stratosphere of Suck.

Okay, Sergio, I think he’s taunting you. So what are you going to do about it? You, Guti & Cristiano need to have some sort of top secret meeting and form a plan of fashion attack. Bring the Bale kid along, he looks like he’s ready & willing to learn from the masters. I see some potential there. I consider this a Code Vermilion, gentleman. Our reputation as the flashiest fashion victims in the football world is at risk. Go forth and shop, young soldiers, and may the fashion gods be with you.

– Lozil

13 Responses to “Okay, Sese, You’re Off The Hook (For Now)”

  1. Christine November 8, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    Lol! I couldn’t stop giggling, your commentary was spot on.

  2. maisoun November 8, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    “That’s like slapping Sergio with a neon leather glove and challenging him to duel with large bedazzled belt buckles at dawn.”

    I’m very glad there was no one around to hear me snort at that one!

    • M November 8, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

      I laughed out loud at the line. Sheer brilliance!

  3. jellyace November 8, 2013 at 2:40 pm #

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just when you think it could not get any worse! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This was the best birthday gift ever!

    • headbandsandheartbreak November 8, 2013 at 2:46 pm #

      Happy Birthday, jel! Was thinking of you and hope you’re okay with the typhoon.

      • jellyace November 10, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

        Thank you! We were out of the storm path so we had a bit of rain and wind, but nothing like what was experienced by those that took a direct hit by the Cat 5 Super Typhoon. They are really suffering down there right now.

  4. Mehreh November 8, 2013 at 3:51 pm #

    he’s been shopping with dani alves, who probably regina george’d him when he tried to buy drop crotch pants. DROP CROTCH PANTS ARE MY THING ALEX.

    • Allison November 10, 2013 at 1:23 am #

      Hahahahahahahaha!!! I thought Dani was bad but this is some next level shit!

  5. Phédre November 8, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

    Do not let Sese see this, he might take it as a challenge or inspiration!

  6. futbolfan November 8, 2013 at 8:33 pm #

    All hilarious, but the last paragraph, OMG! LOLOLOLOL esp about Bale. Ahahahhaha thank you.

  7. Mimi November 12, 2013 at 12:52 am #

    They asked Cesc (during his Arsenal days) who was the worst dressed teammate and he didn’t even think twice to name Alex adding “…. I think he is trying to change the world”

    Here is the link

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Call Of Duty: Shite Trousers Edition | Of Headbands and Heartbreak... - November 22, 2013

    […] look and still have Sergio Ramos and every other footballer wear them?” The mind boggles. Bet Alex Song has like 12 pairs of these with contrasting leather. I’m just shaking my head. This man has […]

  2. Little Shop Of (Denim) Horrors | Of Headbands and Heartbreak... - February 19, 2019

    […] just know that at this very minute, David Villa has sent up the Bat Signal and Jese, Dani Alves and Alex Song jumped onto their private jets, chomping at the bit to get in some denim sale action. G-d help us […]

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