An Almeria Spankin’

26 Nov

Real Madrid's Gareth Bale celebrates with teammates after scoring against Almeria during their soccer match in Almeria

Fresh off of International Duty and our boys come back and smack Almeria with a manita. We love our goal-fests, so please keep them comin’!

I have a confession to make…….Illarra is doing thangs for me that….well, I didn’t expect him to! He so pretty.

Hello boys! Check out Benz’s Baywatch run. “Is Zizou watching?”


Air hump


While it was great to have the boys back, their shirts were a reminder that we’re down one of our besties. Poor Sami, it’s going to be a while ’til we see him in action again, so we wish him a speedy recovery. We want to see him at the WC! Animo Sami.

Three minutes into the match and we were already put in the lead, by none other than Commander Cristiano. This was the only goal of the first half and gave Almeria a little taste of what was to come in the second, the rest of the spanking would come after halftime.

Before he could do more damage, Cristiano was taken off as a precaution in the 54th minute.  Cristiano was tackled by Vidal and injured his left thigh, he was then replaced by Jese.

We returned to scoring in the 61st minute, by way of our Croissant. When Benz scores, he does it so beautifully. Karim, more rockets like this, ya?

Benz got his goal in and was done for the night, he was taken off and made way for Morata.


Is there anything more entertaining than watching Sergio get yellow cards? I love to see him go from “You’re a fool, I did nothing!” to “Yeah, ok. That was bad of Sergio.”


Just a bit of extra yum, because no one ever complains of too much Sexio. I still can’t believe he’s going to be a Papa.

The 72nd minute was all about the Moves like Gareth. Look at that G-Money dance around the defense and keeper! With his goal, Almeria was more than halfway through their spankin’.

In the 73rd minute, Ancelotti made another change, bringing on Casemiro for Illarra. Oh hey there, PYT. :*

“Oh! Let me give you my good side.”

Isco, Isco, Isco, making Almeria his bish in the 75th minute.

Sweet nothings from Xabi?

That’s right, you thank the Lawd for that!

Finishing off the match was Morata, who went head to head with Esteban and came out with the 5th goal of the night.

The pitch invaders are getting younger and younger….a little Kaka fan snuck down to see G-Money and he looked terrified that the little guy was going to get dragged off by security.



Ready for some locker room nekkidness? Half nekkid boys hugging other half nekkid boys. Boys walkin’ around in tighty whities & tube socks, lookin’ like Go-Go dancers. What did we do to deserve all this yum? I know I haven’t been good recently… 😉

If you were Xabi, you’d always be touching yourself too.


Post Match Comments




Carlo Ancelotti spoke to the media after Real Madrid’s 5-0 win against Almería. The Italian trainer praised his players and said he was satisfied with the win after the international games: “I think it was a good game. We didn’t concede any goals and that’s important. The team all played well. We have to carry on this way because we are doing well right now. We’ve had a lot of problems because of international games and today has been a different game and we should be happy.”

After Khedira’s injury, Ancelotti had to modify the midfield. When he was asked about this question, he explained : “Illarra has worked really well over the last two weeks. He’s in good shape, the same as Isco, who has worked very well too. We’ve made a few changes to put the players in a more comfortable position. Illarra and Xabi played very well and the team was really balanced especially because of the good work by these two.”

As for the team’s style of play, he said: “I think it’s important to have a squad that can play in different ways and for the players to have no problems playing one way or another. Today we made some changes so that Illarra and Isco were more comfortable. Maybe with Modric we can play with the system we used with Khedira. Casemiro can replace Khedira in that structure because of his characteristics.”

Ancelotti played down the substitution of Cristiano Ronaldo because of physical problems: “He had a problem with his ischium. I don’t think it’s a big problem. It doesn’t hurt him. His muscle is a bit tired but I think he’ll be better soon. Tomorrow he’ll have some tests but we think that it’s not an important problem. Cristiano started the game with a goal but then he had a little problem.”

Real Madrid controlled most of the game. However, the coach was demanding:  “In the last 15 minutes of the first half we lost control of the game a little. We played a bit more slowly, but those are just small details. We could have scored a second goal in the first half. We lost a bit of confidence in those 15 minutes, but nothing else.” As for the graduates of the academy, he stated : “The players have a lot of quality. They’re young and we need to be careful with them. They’re going to show that they’re ready to play for Real Madrid.”



Cristiano Ronaldo scored first against Almería but then had to leave the pitch and was substituted by Jesé. The Portuguese forward explained why he was substituted at the end of the game: “It was just a precaution, It’s nothing special. I got kicked in the first half and the muscle felt a bit sore.”


Morata scored Real Madrid’s fifth and final goal in the win against Almería. The forward was pleased with the result coming off the break for international matches: “There are people returning from games with their national teams who are tired because it’s a lot of travelling. It’s not easy to score five goals on any pitch and least of all here; it was tough and we managed a big win in the end. It was a great night. I get a chance to score every time I come on and, though I wasn’t lucky before, I was this time and I’m happy.”

The home-grown player answered questions about Cristiano Ronaldo’s physical condition: “It’s normal that he’s tired after the performance the other day. He’s the best player in the world but he’s also a normal person and he needs to take a break sometimes. He’s the first one to arrive at the training grounds and the last to leave. I’m sure he’s already recovering. For us he’s essential.”

Morata explained his personal situation on the team: “I’m doing well and I’m grateful for the confidence the coach and the coaching staff have in me. There are many teammates who always talk to me and give me a lot of advice. I try to learn from them all. I keep learning and I’m very happy here and to play on this team. I’m happy every time I play in this shirt.”

As for the participation of a number of Spanish national players in the match against Almería, he said: “Having so many Spaniards on the pitch is a source of pride. It proves that the lower ranks of the national team are doing really well. Madrid has one of the best youth academies in the world.”

To conclude, the home-grown player said that he was proud of the team’s work: “We’re starting to understand each other better little by little. There are several new players and we’re playing better every day. We have a great team.”



Carvajal played the entire 90 minutes of Real Madrid’s 0-5 thrashing against Almería in the Juegos Mediterráneos stadium. The home-grown defender described his team’s game as “one of the best” and didn’t hesitate to commend the Whites’ top form: “We’re continually improving and getting better every day. It’s true that Barcelona is winning but it’s up to us to keep adding up three at a time.”

 Carvajal was asked about the system of play deployed against Almería: “We have the players to try out a lot of systems and the scoreboard reflects that. It was a good match and we kept a clean sheet.” He also thanked Ancelotti for his trust: “The coach has given me a lot of confidence from day one. I’ve had a lot of minutes and I try to do my best so that he continues to trust me”. Carvajal also explained Cristiano Ronaldo’s substitution: “I think sustaining a dead-leg in that area hurts quite a bit and he went off as a precaution.”Ancelotti’s team was unaffected by the injuries suffered after the break for international games, racking up a resounding 0-5 win in their visit to Almería. Carvajal discussed the injuries and sent a message to his teammate Khedira: “Unfortunately we have several injured players. I want to send a special hug to Sami and I’m sure that he’ll be back with us soon. We have a big squad but we hope the injured players recover soon.”
On to the Champions League action!

5 Responses to “An Almeria Spankin’”

  1. futbolfan November 26, 2013 at 1:38 pm #

    Idk why, but I absolutely love any interaction between Xabi and Cris. You would expect them to completely repel each other but they seem to have a great relationship. I love that. Anyone remember the moment during the Copa del Rey celebrations where Xabi made a joke to Cris and Cris just caressed Xabi’s face? Sigh…

    Also, I’m actually totally glad that four of the goals came after Cris was off. Shows that there is much more to our team than JUST the fantabulous Cris (and there better be because we paid gooood $$).

  2. mygypsyspirit November 26, 2013 at 1:49 pm #

    OMG I finally figured it out! Illara looks like a cross between Xabi and Zachary Quinto! He’s a ginger Spock/Sylar…

    So mad that I slept through this 😦

    • Mehreh November 26, 2013 at 5:25 pm #

      i am really, really enjoying watching illarra pick up on xabi’s mannerisms. he’s started pointing and directing everyone around now. so now we have a back up xabi in case the real one malfunctions. (i assume he’s some type of cyborg, humans are not capable of such perfection)

      • mygypsyspirit November 26, 2013 at 6:11 pm #

        This made me laugh through a terrible mood. Thank you

  3. jellyace November 26, 2013 at 11:05 pm #

    What? No one from Almeria wanted Cutie Pie Isco’s shirt and shorts? Shame!

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