UPDATED: Bringin’ The Goals in 2014

8 Jan


If Crissy can see the future, it looks like there’s something good in store for us! Can you believe we’re just about halfway through the season? Time is flying by and I hope it continues to do so during these Winter months, not just because I’ve been freezing my ass off, but because Spring brings competition finals, which bring trophies, which bring out Drunk Xabi, at which point Flo P. better take advantage & get him to sign a contract renewal! I guess we don’t need to wait for Drunk Xabi to get that contract renewal! Yep, lots to do in 2014…but first, a recap of our first match of the year.

Sergio’s hair is getting long!! Sadly, it’s just in one spot and despite his questionable hair looks, I don’t think he’d indulge us and whip out a headband for old times’ sake. 😦


In honor of Eusebio, who passed on Sunday, the Bernabeu observed a moment of silence and all players wore black armbands.

After a few close chances from Celta, fast forward to the 2nd half – it began with a sub. Illarra came on for Xabi in the 46th minute.


Fast forward twenty more minutes, two more subs were made. In the 62nd minute, Jese came on for Isco.


In the 64th minute, G-Money came on for Di Maria, which led to ¡¡¡Junkgate!!! DUN DUN DUN! Di Maria’s crotch-grabbing incident is now under investigation and I’m very curious to know just how this sort of thing is investigated. What will they be looking for? Hmm? Yeah, I’m going to stop before I even start with the junk jokes.


“I like to grab LOTS of things!”


Before Di Maria did his work for the Adjustment Bureau, the story WOULD’VE been about players grabbing each other’s junk! A much more interesting read, in my opinion.

All this drama and we hadn’t even got to the goals yet! In the 67th minute, Benz & Jese provided us with much more entertaining things to occupy our minds. The two teamed up to open up the scoring and rid us of the fear of drawing against Celta. Jese was so excited about his assist, by his celebration you would’ve thought he was the one that scored! Check out that sweet assist.



Not quite walking like an Egyptian, Sergio…


How our boys protect themselves: Carvajal shrinks and dips it low. Sergio with the classic grab & hold. G-Money fails due to a case of baby hands. Benz & Cris take the “Look Ma, no hands!” approach and shield with their BUMpers. Illarra never fears, he’s got balls of steel.

Rounding out the last 20 minutes of the match, Cris showed up to score a speed brace. His first goal in the 82nd minute was assisted by Carvajal.

With seconds to go, G-Money supplied his boo thang with one final goal. How excited do you think he was as Cris came running towards him?




Post Match Comments

From Realmadrid.com



Carlo Ancelotti spoke to the media after Real Madrid’s win in the first official match of the year against Celta Vigo. The coach spoke about how his team had played: “The play was not that good in the first half, it was a little slow. After Christmas and the holidays it is normal for a team not to play with a lot of intensity. The most important thing was to win the match and we won well, especially with more intensity in the second half. The match showed that we had problems in defence and we need to improve the balance. But, to win the league, it is better to do it when you’re up to speed. We are five points behind and we have to try to make them up by playing better.”

A goal from Benzema and two from Cristiano Ronaldo gave Real Madrid the three points against Celta Vigo. The coach explained the tactical changes in the second half in which he played the Portuguese closer to Benzema: “It was a change for this match. I know that Cristiano likes to play wider, but occasionally he can play up front with Benzema. He scored two goals in a position that he is not used to.” He also explained Alonso’s substitution: “He had a physical problem. Inside his ear was causing him trouble. He asked to be taken off because of that. We’ll have to wait a while to see how he feels.”

The Italian also spoke about the scorer of the first goal: “Benzema is playing well, not only because he is scoring, but also because of how we want to play. Sometimes he slows things down for the opposing team.” When asked about Isco, he said: “Not everyone is back in peak condition after the holidays. Isco needs more time. You have to take into account that the midfield was well covered today and was not easy to find space.”

The team have busy schedule in January. About Jesé and his chances of making the starting eleven, he said: “Recovery is important for everyone. I’ll put the best team possible out on Thursday because we need to keep winning for our confidence. Jesé has a chance of playing if someone has not recovered well. Jesé may be one of the most important players at the moment, even if he doesn’t play from the beginning. When the other team are tired, putting on player a skilful is more important than doing so from the beginning.”

Regarding the balance of his team against Celta Vigo, he said: “The team were not very well balanced. Celta Vigo had some counter-attacks because we pushed up a lot with our wing-backs. Carvajal’s did a very good job because we scored two goals from his two crosses. We had to take the occasional risk because they defended so deep, and that is why we lost some of the balance. But it is normal and we need to improve it.”

When asked about Di María getting whistles from the stands, he said: “He tried to play, just like everyone else did. It was in a period of the match when the crowd were whistling. Occasionally that is a good thing.” About an alleged gesture by the Argentinean towards the crowd, he said: “I have not seen the gesture. I shook his hand and then I don’t know what he did. I just changed him to put on two fresh players to open up the defence. He is very important to us and I have a lot of confidence in him. He might have made a mistake, but it’s not a big deal for me. It is news to me if he responded to the crowd and it is a mistake if he has, but life goes on.”


Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice to help Real Madrid to the win against Celta Vigo. The Whites’ forward dedicated his goals to someone in particular: “The goals are for Eusebio. I was very close to him and he helped me a lot. He is a legend for me and today is a sad day.” Ronaldo spoke about the team’s win in the first official match of 2014: “It was important to start the year in the best way possible and the priority was to win and we that did well.” He also spoke about the performance of Bale and Jesé: “They changed the match.”

The Real Madrid forward spoke about the hard-fought win: “It was a difficult match because they parked the bus at the back in the first half. Things went well in the second half and we were able to score three goals. The priority was to win and we won well. I am also very happy with my two goals.” One of the keys to change the course of the match was when Jesé and Bale came on, about which Cristiano Ronaldo said: “They changed the match. It’s good for Real Madrid because you can see the options that we have on the field and on the bench. Competition is good and they did very well when they came on and get my congratulations.”

Cristiano Ronaldo said that the aim is to catch up with their main rivals: “We need to do better and have to keep working hard. The season is long and we want catch up with them and then go ahead.” When asked about who he’d rather win the match between Atlético Madrid and Barcelona in the next matchday, he said: “I have no preference. At least one of them will lose points, but we have to win our matches.” He also spoke about Di María: “I think he did well and fought hard.”

Finally, the Portuguese, who hopes for “a lot of success in 2014”, remembered his fellow Portuguese, Eusebio, and dedicated his two goals to him: “I appreciate the tribute that the stadium and Spain have paid to him. To feel the warmth of Spain and the rest of the world is very important. I was very close to him and he helped me a lot. He is a legend for me and today is a sad day, and obviously, the goals were for him.”


Jesé played in the second half of the match against Celta Vigo and contributed towards the win. After the match he spoke about Cristiano Ronaldo and the Ballon d’Or: “For all of us, Cristiano Ronaldo is the best and I’m sure he’ll win the Ballon d’Or.” About the match, he said: “In the first half we struggled a little bit because they were very compact at the back and worked the ball out well. Then Bale and I came on and it made a difference. It is important to help the team, that’s the mentality.”

Having provided the assist for Benzema’s goal, the forward answered questions about his chances of making the starting eleven: “I love working with this team, I learn every day from my teammates, but it is difficult to get to play and we have to work hard because that is how you get the rewards. I think there is a healthy competition within the team. You have to respect the coach’s decisions and keep working hard. We have the chance to be up there if we do things well.”


After the match, Diego López spoke about the job done by the team in defence: “Keeping a clean sheet was one of the keys to winning. Celta Vigo are a team that work hard, have very clear ideas, that play very compact defensively, and have players who were going to create problems on the counter. It was a difficult match, which needed a big effort, and in which the team did a great job to get a good result. The quality that we have told and we got the win. It was important to keep a clean sheet and they did not create many chances on the counterattack.”

The goalkeeper praised Carvajal’s performance: “Our wide defenders give us a lot offensively. Against teams that close up at the back, it is important that they push up and create chances for us.” He also had words of praise for Modric: “He had a very good match, working hard defensively. As teammates, we really appreciate that.”

About the depth of the squad, he said: “Another of our strengths is that we have a lot of players that we can call upon that can change matches. We are at a point in the season where it is important that everyone participates and is hungry to play when they go out on the field. Jesé and Bale came on, changed things and did a lot of damage to the other team. They are two talented players that play very directly.” About Cristiano Ronaldo, he added: “He always takes the chances that he has, performs when he has to, and is a key part of the team.”

Finally, he spoke about the Copa del Rey tie against Osasuna: “We know that the second leg in Pamplona will be difficult. With the first match being at the Santiago Bernabéu, we will start strong and take a good result into the second match.”


Carvajal, who started against Celta, gave his opinions on the match: “Celta played very well, very compact; they kept the midfield and defensive lines close together and counter-attacked well. You have to work hard in these matches. The opponents shut the game down against Madrid, and so the space is on the wings and you can send in good crosses. I am a player who likes to attack and play in an open style and the manager really gives me the confidence to do it. The most important things are that we have won and kept a clean sheet.” 

The right back praised the attitude of the players who came off the bench: “It is important for the squad that the players who come on can read the match and change it, that all fourteen players contribute something.” On the subject of the team’s form he said: “We are improving, the team is getting more comfortable all the time and when we get the balance right between attack and defence we are more comfortable on the pitch and the results go our way.”

The academy player answered questions about the next Copa del Rey match: “None of the opponents give anything away or make life easy for you. It will be a difficult match against Osasuna and we will try to play as well as possible. Besides, the break has helped us to recharge our batteries. The coming weeks have almost three matches in every one and the standard asked of us will be very high.”


Gareth Bale was pleased at the end of the game against Celta. The Welsh international came on in the 65th minute and played a decisive role in his team’s third goal, as he provided an assist for Cristiano Ronaldo to score: “That’s my job. I’m feeling great and I’m itching to play and help the team in 2014. It was a tough match and the important thing is we got the three points. I’m very pleased that we’ve won our first game of 2014.”

Bale wished “everyone a happy new year” and spoke about the motivation with which Real Madrid will approach the rest of the season: “We’ve had a good rest over the Christmas break and we are raring to go in 2014. We’re really looking forward to it.”


Pics & Gifs via megustaelfutbol, gfsports, & rmespcfc.

Hala Madrid!!!


3 Responses to “UPDATED: Bringin’ The Goals in 2014”

  1. Phédre January 8, 2014 at 3:17 pm #

    I think I’ve watched that gif of Sese, Jese and Carva more than is good for my mental health. Oh boy!

    • maisoun January 8, 2014 at 5:19 pm #

      That’s a whole lotta sex bearded man lurvin’ isn’t it? *__* Is it just my imagination or does it look like Jese is about to stick his tongue in Sese’s ear at one point?…

  2. jellyace January 9, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

    Re Junkgate: I am more worried that di Maria touched his junk and then double hand-slapped Gareth Bale! ew…cooties!

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