Your 2013 Tishies Winners! (Divisions IV-VI)

16 Mar

whip1And now it’s time for your Division IV-VI winners! Are you ready? Let’s go!


Best Arms – Sergio Ramos

Sese’s tatted up guns were your fave with 40% of the vote. Cristiano’s did it for 20% of you.

Most Bootylicious – Fernando Torres

No buts about it (bad pun completely intended), you felt that Nando deserved to retain his bootylicious crown with a whopping 66% . Pipita came in second with 12%

Best Chest – Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo removes his Real Madrid soccer jersey in Pasadena, CA.
After not getting that many votes in last year’s Tishies, Cris is doing quite well this year. He took this category with 32% to Sergio’s 29%.

Best Abs – Cristiano Ronaldo

Man, I’m almost offended for poor Sergio and his abs. Last year, he was the early favorite and lost out to Thiago Alcantara in a surprise upset. This year, he was beat out by Cristiano (37%) by 2 votes!

Prettiest Eyes – Jesus Navas

21 jesus navas (3)
Jesus takes the crown again with 31%. Sergio (again) comes in second with 15% but Isco was only 2 votes behind him!

Best Smile – Kaka

Let it be known that Shiggers officially hates 25% of you for making this win for Kaka happen. The 20% who voted Marcelo into second place are okay though.

Person Who Should Most Become Allergic To Clothing In 2014 – All of Real Madrid 
real_madrid_logo Y’all are greedy! Why have one guy be naked when you can have a whole team’s worth. So said 38% of you about Real Madrid.  Sergio “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride” Ramos took 20%.

Biggest Heartbreaker – Sergio Ramos
FINALLY! The Ramos takes another category (I expected him to lay waste to this entire division, tbh, and leave everyone eating his dust). Thanks to 37% of you for unbreaking his heart while he broke your’s. Pipita had 23% with Mesut only 2 votes behind, nipping at his heels.

Hottest Team – Real Madrid
56% of you find Los Blancos the hottest of the hot. While 20% go for the Spanish National Team.


Most Watish-able – Fernando Torres

You sure do love Nando! He got 78% of the vote to retain his title. Sergio came in second with 10%.

Whore With More – Sergio Ramos

Real Madrid soccer players and the Real Madrid chairman Florentino Fernandez present the "Hope Match", a benefit soccer match
Victory! Sergio wins this year’s Ballon W’hore! He beat out last year’s winner, Pipita, 43% to 28%. Muppet Baby Casemiro made an excellent debut with 17%!

Favorite Bromance – Sergio Ramos/Fernando Torres (Sernando)

Once again, Sernando takes the crown! (58%). And it’s easy to see why. Even when they’re apart, they’re bromancing. Gonzalo Higuain/Raul Albiol (Albiolita) came in second with 6%. Sergio/Iker (Seriker) and Cristiano/Kaka (Criska) shared third place with 5%. 

Best Use of Social Media – TIE – Juan Mata & David Luiz

juan mata and david luiz
It’s a tie! David Luiz won this last time but he’s got to share this year’s laurels with Juanin. They got 17%  Everyone’s fave hipster pirate, (and Juan’s bestie), Esteban Granero came in second with 14%

“Step Away From The Instagram” Award For Worst Use of Social Media -Karim Benzema
Le Roi de Visage de Canard needs to get a grip according to 63% of you. Neymar got 14% of you to say “It’s gotta stop”

The Best Duck Face Award/Best FB Upload Award (aka the Karim Benzema Award)

Karim easily won his namesake award for the second year in a row with 81%. It must be a French thang because his countryman Remy Cabella came in second with 11%.

New Bromance on the Block – Cristiano Ronaldo & Gareth Bale (Crisba)

Can you feel the love tonight? Well, 33% percent of you certainly did with Crisba. Gareth will probably be squeeing over the fact that everyone sees and co-signs their true wuv in his secret diary. All the Real Madrid Muppet Babies & their many interlocking bromances took 21% of the vote.

Kit I’d Most Like To See On My Bedroom Floor

Well, I kinda screwed this category up royally. I put Real Madrid as an option twice and it got 18% and 8% of the vote. So I guess if you add that up, it comes to 26%. However, Sergio got 21% and it’s much more fun to look at him stripping off his kit rather than a picture of a plain old Real Madrid kit, so I declare him the winner. I didn’t think you’d mind. Hey, he’d be leaving a Real Madrid kit on your floor so it’s almost like a two-fer! 

WAG Who Wa-tishes The Most – Nagore Aranburu (Xabi Alonso)

The fabulous Nagore certainly doesn’t mind showing off pictures of her gorgeous hubby. That willingness got her 29% of the vote. The adorable Clarice Alves (Marcelo) came in second with 23%.


Most Valuable National Team Player – Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)

CR7 rocked it with 39% of the votes while Sweden’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic came in second with 17%

Best National Team Newbie/Best Debut – Raphael Varane (France)

The Baby got 59% percent of the vote for his debut. Isco Alarcon (Spain) ended up in second with 29%

Most National Team Pride – Iker Casillas (Spain)

Spain’s captain Iker got 42% while Portugal’s captain Cristiano took second.

Most Questionable National Team Kits – Spain Confederation Cup

39% of you were not fond of Spain’s Confederation Cup kit while 34% weren’t digging Mexico’s strip. Croatia wasn’t far behind in third place though with 28%.

Best National Team Kit – Germany

Germany had your fave national team kit (35%) while second place went to Spain (31%). Remember – this was supposed to be for 2013!

And that’s a wrap! Thanks so much for all your votes and making the Second Annual Tishies so much fun. We’ll see you next year for the 2014 Tishies!

– Lozil

7 Responses to “Your 2013 Tishies Winners! (Divisions IV-VI)”

  1. Anonymous March 16, 2014 at 12:54 pm #

    In general very nice results 🙂
    But Cris and Bale? Seriously? That’s Cris and his stalker aka guy who wants to rip Cris’ skin off when he sleeps and wear it as his own like in silence of the lambs….
    Cris and Fabio would have been nice, because there you can really see the love… or anybody else, but Cris and his clone is just weird and so wrong. I’m still waiting for the poor guy for getting a restraining order. So no, just no

    • Charliechaz March 16, 2014 at 1:07 pm #

      Agreed on the SWF stalker bit…

    • CinematiqueChic March 17, 2014 at 6:29 pm #

      My thoughts exactly re: Cris & Bale. Bale wants to wear Cris as a skin suit.

  2. Maria Rosaria Damiano March 16, 2014 at 3:04 pm #

    rafa didn’t win for best abs, that’s unfair, it doesn’t have to be a six packs… it can be just as good as a single, huge, voluminous AB 😦

  3. Dr. Heidi March 17, 2014 at 2:46 pm #

    I tried, my dear Sergio, I TRIED! *should have voted 2 more times for best abs* I resembled that travel site commercial with the guys’ fingers flying off….

  4. Katie Ann March 17, 2014 at 7:28 pm #

    I’m just gonna stare into Jesus Navas’ eyes for a bit…

  5. Ana March 18, 2014 at 2:51 am #

    ‘Ballon W’hore!’ PRICELESS!!!!

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