World Cup 2014: Disciplinary Proceedings Opened Against Chompers

25 Jun

2383645_full-lndFIFA has moved to open disciplinary proceedings against Luis Suarez, who once again, can’t keep his teeth to himself.

They have until 5:00 PM Brazil time today to produce any evidence for his defense (good luck with that). I can’t wait to see what they come up with. (“It was his evil twin, Suis Luarez!” “Chiellini slathered himself in BBQ sauce before the match. IT WASN’T LUIS’ FAULT!”  “Someone put a ‘Please bite me. If I get 1000 bites, my mom will buy me a Playstation”‘ sign on Chiellini’s jersey and Suarez was just trying to help a brother out!“) ::insert eye roll here::

Let’s hope FIFA actually does the right thing and bans this piece of shit for the rest of the World Cup (at least). How many times are people going to write his piss poor behavior and inability to control himself off with the excuse that he’s just “passionate” on the pitch? He’s obviously not learning from his mistakes and he needs to be punished.  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, get your ass off the fucking pitch and get yourself some therapy. You’re a menace.  You can play with passion and not bite other people, you know. Toddlers do that shit because they don’t know any better. Grown ass men should have a bit more restraint, don’t you think? Also? Dangerous. Very dangerous.

Let’s see what NIH’s Medline Plus has to say:

Human bites that break the skin, like all puncture wounds, have a high risk of infection. They also pose a risk of injury to tendons and joints.

Bites are very common among young children. Children often bite to express anger or other negative feelings.

Human bites may be more dangerous than most animal bites. There are germs in some human mouths that can cause infections that are hard to treat. If you have an infected human bite, especially on your hand, you may need to be admitted to the hospital to receive antibiotics through a vein (intravenously). In some cases, you may need surgery.

Diego Lugano basically labeled Chiellini a whiner and said he was “disappointed” in him.  I am sure that Giorgio gives negative 100 fucks about that, Diego, but thanks for sharing. And new footage of the bite has emerged. Giorgio Chiellini: Fast Food When You Get Peckish Mid-Match

Wonder if Adidas is regretting using this pose of Suarez in their Battle Pack promos? (Mesut looks pretty shitty in that as well, it must be said.)

Look out! He's armed! (Or he's going for your arm. Either way...)

Look out! He’s armed! (Or he’s going for your arm. Either way…)

To counteract the drama, out came the gallows humor:

Someone who knows about being bitten, Evander Holyfield, won the internet with this tweet:

And I gotta hand it to Who Are Ya Designs. They had a Suarez shirt designed and ready for sale within a couple of hours of the match. Way to capitalize. You can order it at the link if you are so inclined.


IMHO, the bottom line is that his behavior was reprehensible and he brought shame on himself and his team/country. Yes, they won and will be moving on, but that victory will always have a shadow cast on it because of his conduct.

And FloPeezy, if you’re listening, PLEASE don’t even consider wasting a dime on this idiot. He’s as big a liability as he is a brilliant player. Don’t allow him to tarnish the escudo. It seems a moot point because he’s probably going to Barca but just in case…

As for all the Suarez apologists making slurs against Italians on social media: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Schadenfreude usually comes back to bite you in the ass.

And as much as I love Diego Forlan (known here as Dudley Hawk Right DeGeneres-McCononaughey. You can find out why in the HB & HB Glossary), I’m going to be cheering loudly for Colombia on Saturday.

– Lozil (and no, I’m not going to use the “Yum. Just Yum.” tag even though I totally thought about it)

11 Responses to “World Cup 2014: Disciplinary Proceedings Opened Against Chompers”

  1. M June 25, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

    I hope they throw the book at him. Cretin.

  2. Amrita Marik (@amarik1801) June 25, 2014 at 5:18 pm #

    What disturbs me the most is that why the referee couldn’t see the bite mark..Ramirez went on to put the shirt back on the shoulder when Chiellini was showing it. India is a cricket crazy nation..and our cricket board, after much fight, have been able to introduce technical assistance in solving lots of trouble on the field. It means undermining the authority of the referee/umpire on the field, but we get somewhat fair match. Filing a report after a match is of no help. The distraction created by Suarez costed Italy the match.

    • headbandsandheartbreak June 25, 2014 at 5:32 pm #

      I completely agree. If he had received the straight red he deserved there may have been a different outcome to the match. Yes, I was rooting for Italy, but honestly, no matter what team they were playing I would have felt the same way. And if one of the players on the team I was supporting bit someone, I would want them sent off immediately.

  3. CinematiqueChic June 25, 2014 at 6:00 pm #

    At this point I just don’t see how they can justify continuing to let him play. FIFA should ban him the full 2 years. I’d support a lifetime ban but I doubt that would ever happen.

  4. hopechaser June 25, 2014 at 6:29 pm #

    I read something where Uruguay is claiming the photos circling around of the bite were photoshopped. Guess it’s plausible but Chiellini is not a whiner; he’d rather punch you in the nose than sniffle. He felt something ‘foreign’ on his shoulder, why else would he pull down his jersey right away? He’s not that cunning. And why was Suarez holding his teeth if it was his eye that G hit?

  5. Katie Ann June 25, 2014 at 6:43 pm #

    GOOD. I agree with everyone who wants them to throw the book at him. At this point, I doubt he’ll learn self-control any other way.

  6. Anonymous June 25, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

    He needs some serious therapy. It’s obvious he has some deep routed issues and they have absolutely nothing to do with him being passionate. I doubt disciplinary actions wil stop him from biting. That would be like treating the symptom instead of the source. To me it seems like he bites whenever he gets desperate. Any how we don’t need any more drama at madrid. His character would fit perfectly at barca.

  7. Amrita Marik (@amarik1801) June 26, 2014 at 10:27 am #

    The chompers got banned for 9 matches and 4 months – mild punishment for someone who has been caught in the biting act thrice in 4 years. I hope that he has been asked to seek psychiatric help too. He needs it. He has talent and should learn to control his anger.

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