World Cup 2014: Does The Punishment Fit The Crime(s)?

26 Jun
***BESTPIX***  Italy v Uruguay:

Don’t worry, Luis, I’m sure your teeth are still working JUST fine. Ask Giorgio.

In this case? Hell to the nah, in my opinion. Chompers has gotten a ban, yes, but considering his history, I don’t think it’s enough.

Ol’ Chomps has been banned for four months from “all football related activities.” This includes entering any football stadium and training. So he’s out for the rest of the World Cup and the beginning of the Premier League season. In addition, he has to pay a £66,000 fine and is banned for 9 international matches.

I think this is lenient considering his utter fuckery over the past few years and thus far, 48% of Guardian readers agree with me.
guardian poll

However, FIFA had mercy on poor Liverpool and clarified that his disciplinary action wouldn’t block any potential transfer. (Here’s how his ban will affect Liverpool, BTW)

He’s not doing anything to improve his rep – everything is excuses, excuses, excuses. At first, Uruguay’s FA said Chiellini’s bite marks were photoshopped and we’ve already seen team captain Diego Lugano’s brosplaining that Chiellini was a wuss and Suarez did nothing.  Of course, there’s an English media conspiracy against Uruguay. They’re hypocrites, don’t you know. Uruguay closed ranks & Lugano (who speaks English) refused to take any questions from the media that weren’t in Spanish. This head in the sand bullshit where Suarez is concerned is nothing new. I highly suggest reading this very informative (and highly disturbing) article from the Guardian about Suarez’s past and Uruguay’s willingness to ignore his issues as long as he keeps scorin’ those goals.

And now his lawyer says that the bite was “casual play” and there’s Italian & Brazilian conspiracies against them along with the English one. “Casual play” Ooooookay, but hey! Wait! I thought he didn’t bite anyone? Now he did and it’s…no biggie? WTF, people? Meanwhile, Suarez remains unrepentant and convinced that he did nothing wrong…just like all the other times. It’s never his fault. Ever. There is a saying: “If 28 people tell you that you have a tail, maybe you should turn around and look.” Meditate on that for a bit, would you Luis?

Uruguay was also going to try to exploit a loophole so that Suarez could play on Saturday, but FIFA was all like “Bish, pls.” He can appeal the verdict, but he ain’t playing. Finally, some sense out of FIFA. Who knew?

The whole thing leaves such a bad taste in my mouth (perhaps not the best of metaphors, considering). This guy needs some serious psychological help and Uruguay (country, team, media) cannot continue to enable him. They have to face up to the fact that this guy has some very real problems.

One prominent Uruguayan (and a legendary sports hero,  at that) chose to speak out against Suarez. Alcides Ghigga, who scored the winning goal in the Marcanazo in 1950, said “This boy’s clearly not right in the head.” Uruguay, listen to him. GET. HIM. SOME. HELP.

The gallows humor continues. There’s a Claymation parody, a game and watishista Jufu’s brilliant Sweeney Todd parody (written the last time he bit someone). And while this Suarez lookalike was getting serenaded with song before the bite, I’m sure he’s getting much less love now. Poor guy.

Way to make the World Cup all about you, Luis. Anyhow, I’ll be happy when we can just concentrate on the football and less on this douche.

– Lozil

11 Responses to “World Cup 2014: Does The Punishment Fit The Crime(s)?”

  1. mygypsyspirit June 26, 2014 at 2:20 pm #

    Why to make the World Cup about him again… FFS.

    The thing is, this is ongoing and it’s not normal adult behavior! He’s a 4 year old! He gets frustrated and he lashes out and bites. 4-year-olds do that on the playground!

    • Anonymous June 26, 2014 at 4:17 pm #

      I totally agree, but as a pre- school teacher even 4 year olds don’t bite. If they did if be concerned!!

    • headbandsandheartbreak June 26, 2014 at 6:04 pm #

      As I said on Twitter about him:

  2. hopechaser June 26, 2014 at 2:24 pm #

    Depending on how Uruguay progress here and their schedule over the next year, he could also be out of their Copa América defense. Which I think be COMPLETELY fair. Frankly, I wish FIFA had extended it to ensure that would happen. Suarez should have no opportunity to compete competitively for at least a year at the international level. And I’d like to see if UEFA will do anything regarding him playing in the Champions League. They could, theoretically, impose sanctions too. Think it all hinges on what Liverpool decides to do.

  3. jellyace June 26, 2014 at 2:33 pm #

    I clicked on the photo, hoping to add my vote to the Lenient tally! In terms of impulse control, Luis Suarez is still in the infantile stage. This is stuff he should have learned in kindergarten. And people keep excusing his behavior because they need his talent. A less talented player would have been given the maximum. Maybe if he had bitten Messi, the penalty would have been harsher. But someone with his talent does not need to resort to such antics. He does need to seek help from a professional: Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer.

    I hope none of the La Liga teams (ahem, ahem, Barca) signs him because he will look at the other La Liga teams and think: Tapas!

  4. Natalie June 26, 2014 at 3:02 pm #

    Oy Vey. I guess Uruguay will ignore major issues in his head (club as well) as he does what he needs to do, score goals.
    In the post game interview he originally said that “his head collided with opponents shoulder” while EVERY replay u see it was clearly more, now they are saying it was “causal play”. Where, in the zoo between lion cubs?
    Punishment wise, he did bite opponents on club levels but this is 1st international so I guess for first international offence it was smaller punishment but in my personal opinion could have been more. Does not help Italians much though 😦

  5. Barbarossa June 26, 2014 at 4:56 pm #

    CR’s comment was amusing and a bit WTF.

    Fifa stop talking about their FanFests, and the media demand the right to ask Ronaldo about Suárez. “Why do you want my opinion?” he asks. “I never bit anyone. But I know that bites hurt. My young kids used to bite me and I used to punish them. In my room, punishment is called ‘the dark room with the big bad wolf’, so I suppose for an adult four months with no football is the same.”

    • Barbarossa June 26, 2014 at 5:01 pm #

      Sorry, it was the Brazilan Ronaldo, not CR7.

  6. jenn (@jenkies720) June 27, 2014 at 1:17 pm #

    I do think it was a light ruling, that being said I don’t necessarily trust the English media, or many fans who are all up in arms about this latest infraction. Many of the same people I saw lambasting Suarez, understandably, were the same ones that were calling for members of the English NT to go after his bum knee during the URUvENG game.

    What Suarez did was wrong and childish and I think he might need some mental health counseling (but I am not a professional, so who knows what he actually needs), but that is no reason to wish ill will upon him. Suarez has been a favorite target for the English media for quite some time, so it’s no surprise that their voices were some of the loudest after the incident.

    I also don’t buy the stories, or excuses (that I’ve seen by Suarez apologists) about how he’s a changed man, a family man, a good man. Sure, he does seem to be a good family man, and father, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior on the pitch. The bite seemed to be in the heat of the moment, but it was also on the biggest football stage in the world, and it was costly. There’s a good chance URU will be beaten by COL in the next round, and they would have had a better chance with Suarez on their squad.

    I hope this teaches him a lesson, I know it’s going to be next to impossible to play in England after this.

    Sorry for the rambling post, I had lots of random thoughts on this.


  1. World Cup 2014 – Group D: Italy vs Uruguay Match Report | Of Headbands and Heartbreak... - June 28, 2014

    […] On the right side of his face. If there was a bruise there, it may have already existed. If the evidence doesn’t fit the narrative then the punishment must fit the […]

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