We all know that Javier Mascherano went in low to deny Arjen Robben, but at what cost?
Yes, you read that right. He tore his anus. Ouch! and Ew! and JFC!
Hope you appreciate Javier’s heroic sacrifice, Argentina. I could spend an hour making arse jokes, however, out of respect for poor Mascherano’s bunghole, I’ll let it go this time. Especially since the poor guy played on after taking a mighty wallop to the head earlier in the match. Totally not his day. Animo, Javier! Here’s hoping your tuchis feels better real soon.
– Lozil
Of Headbands and Heartbreak... 
Now that’s some heroic defending
He really put his butt on the line. (Sorry, Masche, I could not resist!)