How To Wear Your Dragons

26 Aug

Satellite (1)The egg has hatched y’all. Meet our new FODs* (Fathers of Dragons) The presentation of our new Champions League kits took place today at the Presidential Box of the Bernabeu.

Designer Yohji Yamamoto was on hand for the unveiling.  Our boys looked terrific in their kits and Iker is once again clad in a shade more suited to a highlighter. Sergio is undoubtedly jealous. But Sese, you get to wear a DRAGON! I’m sure he’d be happier if the dragon was neon with bedazzled eyes but what can you do? The Ramos, given half a chance, would put the ‘drag’ in dragon.


Presentation of Real Madrid Champions League strip
by Alberto Navarro

“It’s innovative yet simple. I’m certain people will like it and hopefully the dragon will give us plenty of strength”, said Xabi Alonso in the presidential box at the Santiago Bernabéu.

At the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium’s presidential box, Real Madrid and Adidas presented the innovative strip that the Whites will wear when they defend their European champions title, a black shirt with white details, representing the greatness and determination of the club with two mythical beasts from oriental culture on the torso. The event was attended by Emilio Butragueño, the club’s Institutional Relations director; the kit’s Japanese designer, Yohji Yamamoto; and first-team players Casillas, Bale, Marcelo, James and Xabi Alonso. “It’s innovative yet simple. I’m certain people will like it and hopefully the dragon will give us plenty of strength”, said Alonso.

James: “Real Madrid is a unique club, from another world”
“Being here is something great and unique. Winning the Champions League again with this shirt. It’s nice, above all because it has the badge that we will wear with pride and desire”.

“Real Madrid is a unique club, from another world. Playing alongside big stars is great and I hope to gradually get better”.

Bale: “We want to make history by winning the Champions League again”
“Winning the club’s tenth title was fantastic for everyone. Scoring a goal in the European Cup final is one of my biggest dreams and it was a good season for the team. I felt fulfilled”.

“We have to look to the future and try to win it again. We want to make history by winning the Champions League again. We know there is always a lot of pressure on us, but we like it and we want to win more titles this year”.

Casillas: “We have a spectacular and more mature team”
“We experienced it with the strength we have always had. We came very close to one or two more finals, but in the end we won our tenth European title last season. Both the bird and the dragon symbolise the resurgence of recent years and strength for the coming season”.

“It’s difficult to defend the title, but we have more desire and determination than last year. We have a very good squad and a spectacular team, which is also more experienced and more mature”.

Marcelo: “I identify with dragons”
“It’s very nice and I identify with dragons. I remember that I was very angry not to be in the starting eleven for the European Cup final and I had to go out and give the best of myself. I only have good memories”.

Xabi Alonso: “Now the aim is to defend our title”
“For years we fought for our tenth title. Now the aim is to defend our title and if nobody has managed to do so there’s a reason. We’re going for it”.

“I love the shirt. It’s innovative, ground-breaking and yet simple. I’m certain people will like it a lot and hopefully the dragon will give us plenty of strength”.

The symbology of the interweaved dragons
Designed with the innovative Adizero™, the black shirt ensures maximum performance and its ultra-light fabric allows freedom of movement and comfort without compromising on elasticity and durability. The two mythical beasts in white that appear interweaved on the torso are striking. One is the dragon king, a symbol of the greatness, glory and power of the club, while the bird dragon, which is an animal capable of adapting to the most hostile situations, represents the resilience, determination and ability of this centuries-old club on its path to victory.

Xabi Alonso has given his approval to the dragon and that’s all we need to know. The GQMF has spoken. I love that Marcelo said in the video that the shirt went well with his tattoos.

Um, Toni, not to alarm you, but your hand is on fire.

Um, Toni, not to alarm you, but your hand is on fire.

I find this picture deeply confusing and problematic. Why is Toni Kroos’ hand on fire? You don’t use your hands in soccer – that’s kinda a no-no. And dragons breathe fire out of their mouth, so that doesn’t make sense (it would have been hilarious to have our players breathing fire though. Missed opportunity, RM!) Did the dragon maybe breath fire at Toni and set his hand ablaze for not posting enough selfies or skipping his Big Gucci Belt Buckle/Backward Baseball Cap Style For Beginners class? That doesn’t seem very nice! Why would we want to wear rude dragons that roast our players? Yeah, I got nothin’.

So his hand is on fire for undetermined reasons and everyone else in the photo looks pissed that they aren’t on fire, which is rather strange.  Let’s not try to figure this out, we’ll  just go with it and move on.  (I see Gareth’s Alice band didn’t make the picture. Maybe dragons are allergic to such headgear).

It’s a bummer that Arbeloa wasn’t involved with the shoot. Knowing his love of nerd stuff, dragons would be right up his alley. He probably wanted to bring his GoT broadsword and the ‘Peez put the kibosh on that.

But after the insane light show launch of our pink kit, I wouldn’t have minded something bigger. For instance, hot nerds with broadswords engaged in mock battles with fire breathing animatronic dragons. James is pretty enough to have played a damsel in distress!  Heck, someone could have jumped out of a dragon cake. THINK BIGGER, REAL MADRID!

Here’s the full presentation (in Spanish):

James surprised the fans by appearing in the Bernabeu store where they were queued up to buy the new kit. It was creatively displayed with a big ol’ dragon head.

I’m still on the fence about the dragon kits. If nothing else, it’s going to provide me with a season’s worth of bad puns for post titles. What do you guys think?

– Lozil

2 Responses to “How To Wear Your Dragons”

  1. Katie Ann August 26, 2014 at 8:38 pm #

    More Game of Throne references! Bring ’em on!

    I’m on the fence about the kit, too. I have to see one in person, I think, to decide if I like it or not.

  2. hopechaser August 27, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    Yamamoto also designed the Adidas Adizero Yamamoto boot, which features a pair of different colored dragons. Supposedly Adidas sponsored players will be wearing them in their next match. Dragons on their shirts. Dragons on their feet. Dragons on the undies? Yeah, you know Benz has such a pair already or is searching furiously for them.

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