Ballon d’Or Winners: In Case You’ve Lived Under A Rock

13 Jan
See how the lion gazes at his prey...

See how the lion gazes at his prey…

The Ballon d’Or snooze fest has come and gone and I have a quick recap of all of the winners after the jump.

Our nominees arrived in Zurich looking rather nice, minus Sergio’s horrific coat.

The nominees for Men’s and Women’s Player of the Year and Men’s and Women’s Coach of the Year then held press conferences.

The attendees then got all dressed up and walked the red carpet with some special guests like Alessandro Del Piero and Thierry Henry. And, anticipating that the ceremony itself would be mind numbing (as well as ass numbing), they all signed a few autographs on their jaunt down the red carpet.

The ceremony was a bore; complete with awkward musical number and Blatter trying to pretend he gives a shit about anyone but himself.

The good news was that all the winners were deserving of their awards (even though I still think Stephanie Roche was robbed). Here’s the breakdown of winners:

FIFPro World XI:

FIFPro World XI

Goalkeeper: Manuel Neuer
Defense: Thiago Silva, David Luiz, Sergio Ramos, Philip Lahm
Midfield: Andres Iniesta, Toni Kroos, Angel Di Maria (former)
Forward: Lionel Messi, Arjen Robben, Cristiano Ronaldo

Puskás Award:

James wins the Puskas

James Rodriguez’s World Cup stunner against Uruguay beat out both Robin Van Persie’s amazing header and Stephanie Roche’s incredible volley. View the goal here.

Women’s World Coach of the Year:

Ralf Kellerman and award

Ralf Kellerman, head coach of Wolfsburg, won this years honor. The team, under Kellerman’s management, won both the German title and UEFA Women’s Champions League.

Men’s World Coach of the Year:

Loew press conference

Joachim Loew won, deservedly, for bringing Germany their first World Cup win since 1990. And he did it in dominating fashion, no?

Women’s World Player of the Year:

Kessler accepts

Nadine Kessler, the adorable and ridiculously talented Germany and Wolfsburg midfielder, was the second German in a row to win the award. She is the Captain of Wolfsburg, helping them to the Bundesliga and UEFA Champions League titles.

Men’s Player of the Year:

Leaning on the podium

Cristiano picked up his third Golden Ball. You know his story, so I’m not going to fluff him up more than everyone has done already. We love our Crispy! Well deserved, Ronnie! As for the “Guuuhhhh!” thing after your speech, don’t change.

How adorable is Junior? And is it just me, or does James look like a 12 year old in a suit?

Congrats to all the winners!

(photos courtesy of FIFA)


3 Responses to “Ballon d’Or Winners: In Case You’ve Lived Under A Rock”

  1. Forzasusan January 13, 2015 at 12:53 pm #

    Agreed regarding Stephanie Roche! And Carletto looked great!

  2. Katie Ann January 13, 2015 at 5:18 pm #

    Omg, Sergio’s coat… Whoever put Messi in the middle of that picture with Neuer and Cristiano was just being mean… Carlo and his wife look terrific… Cristiano’s son is adorable.

  3. Futbolfan January 14, 2015 at 6:25 pm #

    It’s as if the FIFA people actually try to make these shindigs as awkward as possible. So ridiculous, lol

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