CR7 Puts His Best Foot Forward

20 Feb

090215123711__80747__1423485431Cris has now launched his own shoe line! CR7 Footwear features both dress and casual styles and right now, free shipping worldwide! Might be time to do a little shopping. There’s a few pairs of brightly colored “driving shoes” that totally scream Sergio.

CR7 footwear is the latest addition to Cristiano Ronaldo’s growing luxury lifestyle brand.
The collection reflects Ronaldo’s passion for style, performance and excellence and combines classic & urban casual sophistication with Ronaldo’s unique flair.

CR7 footwear provides a range of options for the fashion conscious who appreciate premium craftsmanship, luxury materials and a unique aesthetic.

The collection provides a glimpse into Ronaldo’s personal life, the style choices that he makes and delivers a distinctive look for every occasion.

Each piece has been carefully designed and tested to provide the best possible look and fit, all personally approved by Cristiano Ronaldo.

His name is Cristiano Ronaldo and he approves this shoe message.

His name is Cristiano Ronaldo and he approves this shoe message.


This appears to be the tag line for the collection. ::shrugs::

He got a little sassy in the poses for the casual shoes and then right back to all business for the luxury line. So… he’s given us underwear/socks, shirts and now shoes. What’s next? Home appliances (toasters that imprint CR7’s face on your bread?), personal care items (gold plated tweezers anyone?), chew toys? (When Fido bites down on the little CR7 doll it makes the shriek he let loose at the Ballon D’Or!)  I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

I was musing on what the collections the other guys would come out with. Sergio would be paella pans, ugly scarves, rhinestone baseball caps and neon skinny jeans. Iker would be grandpa sweaters, murses and base layers. Arbeloa’s would be superhero costumes, graphic novels and nerdy props (GoT swords, doofy cars, etc.) Ancelotti would have his own line of brow grooming products. Benz would make graphic tees and matching hats so garish that DSquared would burst into tears, realize they could never top that and retire. James would undoubtedly be toothpaste/teeth whiteners and cute baby clothes. Bale & Illara would put out knock off versions of CR7 & Xabi’s fashion lines and when called on it, say they were merely an homage to their idols. The Clone Club would band together to promote a line of beard waxes. Jese would have a full range of ‘after da club’ products: hangover cures (shrimp broth! Only regular watchers of BeIn Sport are gonna get that reference), chill out mix tapes,  a mini flash light for your key ring so you can sneak out of your hook up’s house in the middle of the night and a book of bad pick up/break up lines. I think a helpful hints book on how to get liquor stains out of billowing chiffon (among other things) wouldn’t be amiss, amirite Katie Ann? Marcelo would design pet accessories. He’s got plenty of experience with his menagerie. Oh and also lint rollers. It’s amazing, he has like eleventy seven dogs and cats and I never see him with pet hair on him in pictures. I had one small short haired cat (God rest his soul) and I felt like I was in the midst of a fur explosion 24/7. HOW DOES THAT WORK?!

What other product lines can you imagine them putting out? I know your fertile minds have some ideas!

– Lozil

4 Responses to “CR7 Puts His Best Foot Forward”

  1. barbarossa February 21, 2015 at 8:21 am #

    Sergio and Mesut’s (ugly) temporary tattoo stickers. (ToT)

    • Dr. Heidi February 21, 2015 at 10:37 am #

      Sergio’s Witness Protection Services (are we ever going to see evidence of that kid of his?)

      • headbandsandheartbreak February 21, 2015 at 1:18 pm #

        LOL! Oh we’ve seen the back of the kid’s head and his face blurred out but yeah, he’s still a mystery.

    • headbandsandheartbreak February 21, 2015 at 1:18 pm #

      HAHAHAHA! Perfect! We can stock up on Michael Jackson and crying lion “Only God Can Fudge Me” temporary tats. XD

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