Match Recap: Real Madrid 8 – 0 Malmo

15 Dec


Well… Hello dominance. And I don’t mean the sexual kind, though I would put money on a couple of our boys being into that kind of thing.

I’m late AGAIN. This is going to be short. I was missing a lot of gifs and photos. Now that I have them let’s get it going.

So, since we had a pretty good match (to be fair it was a tad boring after the first two goals) let’s start with some social media.

Pre-Match Social Media:

Benz graced us with his fashion disaster, per usual.

As usual, #ToniLive makes me laugh without really trying.

Baby Varane is working hard to come back!

I had to laugh when I saw this gentleman again. He might not know that he’s now famous-ish. I shall call him… Scarf Man!

Starting Lineups:

Real Madrid: Kiko Casilla; Danilo, Nacho, Pepe, Alvaro Arbeloa; Casemiro, Mateo Kovacic, Isco; James Rodriguez, Karim Benzema, Cristiano Ronaldo

Malmo: Johan Wiland; Anton Tinnerholm, Kari Arnason, Felipe Carvalho, Yoshimar Yotun; Erdal Rakip, Oscar Lewicki, Enoch Kofi Adu, Tobias Sana; Jo Inge Berget, Nikola Djurdjic



It was Benzema that got us on the scoresheet first, in the 12th minute, with what was basically a tap in after Isco’s shot was blocked.

I get so excited when Benz scores, then I have to step back and think about his personal life. It’s a bit hypocritical of me to adore Benz despite his personal life but despise Suarez because of it. I don’t know. I’m just extremely torn with Karim right now.

Gareth tweeted a shot from his spot in the Bernabeu shortly after the first goal.

It was sometime between the first and second goals that Cap asked me: “Are vikings playing? They all have viking names. That’s badass.” I couldn’t stop giggling from then on every time the commentator said “Yotun.”

Benz scored goal number 2 in the 24th minute. It was a very good cross from Cristiano and the header was placed well over the keepers head.

While we dominated most of the play, Malmo were managing to get the ball down field a bit. They just didn’t have much to test Kiko.

Our third goal was scored by Crispy. I’ve been exceptionally critical of letting Cris continue to take free kicks even though he’s not scoring them. I would rather see James or Modric take them. But Ronnie decided to show me who’s boss and scored his goal from a free kick in the 39th minute.

The keeper seemed to hesitate. It’s hard to tell in the gif because it’s a bit choppy, but he almost went to ground in slow motion. There’s a fair bit of movement on the ball and I just wonder if he couldn’t tell where it was moving.

After only one minute of added time the half ended. Real Madrid 3-0 Malmo.

Second Half:

My second favorite basketball player, Sergio Llull, posted this shot at the half.

Malmo made one change, as Rodic replaced Djurdjic but we didn’t make any changes to start the half.

It didn’t take long for us to score. In the 47th minute, he tapped in a blocked Isco shot for his second of the night. I don’t have a gif of the goal itself, but I do have the celebration. At the suggestion of Arbeloa, Cris went over and celebrated with Denis to show that the team supports him.

Malmo went down to their attacking end immediately on the restart. It forced a fabulous save out of Kiko.

If you’re wondering why I call him by his first name, it’s to avoid a certain typo that is inevitable when typing his last name.

The 50th minute marked Sir Tans-A-Lot’s hat trick AND his 10th goal of the group stages.

Our first sub was to take off Pepe and bring in Marcelo in the 54th minute.

Goal number 6 (number 4 for CR7) came in the 59th minute. It was a low cross from Isco that was, again, a bit too easy for our record setter.

In the 64th minute, Malmo made their second sub. Mehmeti replaced Sana. And shortly after, James came off to a standing ovation with Jese as his replacement.

Kovacic got in on the action in the 70th minute. Bad defending led to another close range chance and Mateo didn’t bottle it.

Our 8th goal came in the 74th minute. Benzema found some space and just buried it in the corner. Good hat trick for our troubled Frenchman.

Denis came on in the 77th minute to replace Kovacic. And Malmo replaced Rakip with Kroon (which I automatically wrote as Kroos, just so you know).

We got a couple of close chances from both Casemiro and Denis in the next 10 minutes but 8-0 was how it stayed.

Marcus Slaughter is still a Madridista at heart. He posted this after the 8th goal.

Match Photos:

Post-Match Comments:

FB post-match


Benitez: “It is really satisfying for all Real Madrid supporters”

“We have to keep up this run of play, attitude and results”, he added.

Rafa Benítez was very satisfied with his side’s goal fest against Malmö. The manager had the following analysis to offer on the game: “It is really satisfying for all of the Whites supporters. We have to use this to strengthen what we are doing even more. We are on the right track and you can see that when the side string together results and play like this”.

“I am very happy and satisfied for the side and for all of the Madrid supporters that showed trust in the side. We have taken a step forward, we have won 5 consecutive games and winning like that is very positive. Also, we did it in Europe, with all of the impact that has. For the last few games now the side has been obtaining good results and this is the culmination of that”.

“Having ambitious and competitive players really helps and Cristiano is one of them. He is crucial for us and seeing him fight and look for more is a boost for everyone”.

“I have had conversations with him from the beginning, but I will say something more now. Today he disobeyed me because I asked him to score a goal and provide an assist. I am very satisfied with him because he needed it and it will be positive for his morale ahead of the future”.

“This is football and things change every week. The important thing is to carry on this run of good play and results that we must maintain. Now, we have to enjoy one or two days and focus on Villarreal. We have to really respect the opponents. I am really satisfied with the play, attitude and the result and I hope that the team will continue in the same direction”.

Cheryshev and Pepe
“As for Cheryshev coming on, you always have three players coming on and you value what you have out on the pitch and what the team may need. We took off Pepe to give him a rest”.

Goalscoring records
“I have to try and ensure that the team plays like today for the satisfaction of the Real Madrid fans. I cannot change is someone insists something, nor can I change their opinion. I have to keep doing my work as calmly as possible with responsibility and professionalism”.

“There was no specific role for him. We played a 4-3-3 and he played in midfield. The only thing I ask of him is that he plays like he knows how to and he did that”.

Casemiro post match

Casemiro: “We had a perfect game”

“We are very happy with the result and of course the fans enjoyed it”, said Arbeloa.

Casemiro participated in the thrashing against Malmö and explained his feelings to the media: “It was an incredible game, pressuring from the beginning and wanting to push up. We always have to do that at home. Real Madrid always has to play like that. Congratulations to the entire team because we had a perfect game”.

“Real Madrid will always be criticised and a lot will be said because it is the best side in the world and demands top performances from everyone. We kept fighting and the fans deserved to see us having a great game”.

“We are behind the manager and we showed that on the pitch. We carry on together because he trust in him. Cheryshvev is not having a bad time and the celebration is because we are fond of him. The squad back him and the manager. Real Madrid continue onwards together because we will be stronger united”.

Next game
“We do not have to think about the Copa del Rey, that is the concern of others. We won well today and there is a really difficult game at the weekend”.

Arbeloa: “Of course the fans enjoyed it”
“We maintained the intensity that we were perhaps lacking the other day and we have to be happy with our work. This is a really serious Real Madrid side and we wanted to play a complete 90 minutes. We are really happy with the result and of course the fans enjoyed it. With these results the team is going to improve and the fans will definitely help us to win titles”.

“What people want is for the team to win, to score goals and show intensity. That is what the Bernabéu wants, for there to be commitment and effort and that is what they saw. We also have players with a lot of quality, and if you combine that with commitment and effort then the goals will definitely arrive”.

“We knows that we trust in him because we have known him for a long time. He has an enormous heart and we will put our hand in the fire for him. He has to be calm and keep playing like he has done up until now. Not only with the three goals today but also with the great season that he has had”.

“It has been very unfair on Denis. We are a team and bad situations are where we need to be most united. We all want the same thing and we have to defend this badge, among the players, the fans and the club”.

Copa del Rey
“We went out there to do our work, which was to win the game. Real Madrid are in the right, for many of the reasons that the president gave and we hope that Real Madrid will stay in the Copa del Rey and play the return leg”.

Post-Match, Benzema was pumped for the win. And had a bit to say in support of one of our players.

And Isco shared one of my favorite shots of the night.

Gran partido hoy!⚽️⚽️

A photo posted by Isco Alarcon Suarez (@iscoalarcon) on

I don’t know… We won, and it was dominant, but something still felt off. I don’t understand how even a 8-0 win can feel so unconvincing.


¡Hala Madrid!


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