https://www.instagram.com/p/BVmqbZoAj2V
::snort:: It’s much as you would imagine but at this point he’s out Ramosed The Ramos!
What is that outfit even? He looks like he’s crash landed in some sort of version of Baller Bad Fashion Heaven (which apparently is located in Versailles). From the waist down, it is straight up extraneous zippers ahoy! Apparently there is a DSquared store in heaven… And from the neckline up, it’s so damn 70s that I almost can’t cope. He seems to be channeling a very nervous undercover Rhoda Morgenstern being a wallflower at the high school dance if, you know, Rhoda had a beard and some bitchin’ shades. Wow. Somewhere The Ramos and Guti are shook.
Oh, but there is more…
There is dancing…
There is jet skiing…
There are exercises, more tattoos than before and if I’m not hallucinating, some definite thinning on the top…
There’s tattooing set to his own music…
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKq79cMDpKR
There’s what I at first took to be a Philadelphia 76ers man romper and now that I see it isn’t, I’m really, really sad.
There are limited edition bedazzled Jey M hats. Cristiano is jealous that someone else has upped the diam-ante (pun definitely intended). That’s his territory, yo.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BSeMJJLgmCQ
And I see he’s carried our Hot Pants tradition back to the Canary Islands with him…
Jese Jr. is getting bigger and even more adorable…
And Jese will be a daddy again soon. His girlfriend Aurah posted this 26 week video back in April.
UPDATE: Aurah’s Instagram became private overnight. Was it something we said? Sure hope not because we said nothing aside from the fact they were expecting. But here’s a similar video from Twitter apparently from the beginning of May:
It’s good to know that wherever he is, Jese is just bein’ Jese.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKYuutxj-Qi/
Damn do I miss Big Flow. #NeverForget
– Lozil
Of Headbands and Heartbreak... 
*crying tears of laughter*
It was like a gift from the gods when I happened upon that picture. It’s just too much.
I was going to say something about knees needing ventilation (entirely true, though zippers might not be the most utilitarian for the purpose), but I got distracted by belly piercing. When did I get so old? Le sigh.
OMG, I went back and looked wondering how I missed Jese’s belly button being pierced, all excited, and then I realized that you meant Aurah’s belly was pierced and…yeah.