World Cup 2018: Group Stage Round 2 Recap

25 Jun

There seemed to be a lot of accidental boots to the face and head this round. Or maybe it just seems like. Of the more severe ones, Iceland’s Ragnar Sigurðsson was clipped during their game vs Nigeria and kept playing for another 20 minutes, while Germany’s Sebastian Rudy ended up with a broken nose in their game vs Sweden and was subbed off.

These incidents have raised the spectre of why FIFA has concussion protocols if they aren’t enforced. Maybe FIFA hasn’t made as much progress on the concussion protocol front since 2014 as they think.

Anyway, let’s get on with it. Round 2 recap – here we go!

So #sexyrurik is a thing on Twitter now (thanks to his teammate Kari Arnason) and he has over 1 million Instagram followers. Honestly, I think he’s probably a bit of a douchcanoe, but it’s not my DMs he’s sliding into to so I care none. Question tho – is it odd he’s following Cristiano’s sidepiece but not Cris? 🤔

FIFA opened disciplinary proceedings against Mexico for their homophobic chanting at the Germany vs Mexico match. Different tournament, same old ignorant bullshit. The Mexico National team tweeted a warning and linked to their World Cup Rules of Civility, and Javier Hernandez asked fans on Instagram to stop the slurs.

This maybe sorta worked; outlets reported no presence of these chants during Mexico’s win over the Korean Republic.

Speaking of Mexico, did you know they brought 2 tonnes of food with them? According to the team’s nutritionist, “we are making corn tortillas that taste like glory.” Those are … good tortillas.

Switzerland’s goalkeeper Yann Sommer is probably jealous and trying to source the recipe. He is a popular food blogger in his home country, as well as a musician and model. Of course he is. “Athlete, musician, model” is the male analog trifecta equivalent to the female social media one: “glamour model, public figure, influencer.”

Swedish midfielder Jimmy Durmaz was targeted with racial abuse from fans after his team’s loss to Germany. He and his teammates say “fuck racism” and so do I. Check out Durmaz fronting the #stoppaskitsnacket or “Stop the bullshit” campaign last fall; this is a guy you want in the locker room.

Speaking of stopping the bullshit, Iranian women were allowed into Tehran’s Azadi Stadium for the first time since 1979 to cheer on their team vs Spain. The tiniest of steps in the equality direction.

The Denmark team paid for Jonas Knudsen to fly home on a private plane for the unexpected birth of his daughter. The cost was probably on par with the £15,250 (20,000 CHF) disciplinary fine levied by FIFA for throwing objects at Australian fans and displaying a sexist banner.

Poland were also fined to the tune of 10,000 CHF for displaying an offensive banner during their match vs Senegal.

Serbian FA president and their national coach are being investigated for statements made in the aftermath of their game vs Switzerland. Switzerland one upped them on and off the pitch with three players–Granit Xhaka, Xherdan Shaqiri, and Stephan Lichtsteiner–under FIFA review for their Albanian Eagle goal celebration.

Not to be left out, two German team officials are under disciplinary review for being complete dicks to the Swedish bench after Kroos scored Germany’s winning goal.

More politics in football, Mo Salah was egregiously forced by his FA to participate in a blatant PR stunt organized by the Chechen government. I’d serious think about quitting too. The guy just wants to play football and to have (what seems to be) his good nature exploited like this is bullshit.

And for my personal annoyance for the round, what kind of professional goes to work in a foreign country where English is not even an unofficial language and doesn’t learn the basics of the official language?

British colonial privilege is alive and well – “I don’t expect EVERYONE to speak English but they should speak it FOR ME.” A german language degree doesn’t dissolve your cultural privilege.

As a palate cleanser, here’s a fantastic story from Peru:

World Cup 2018 By Numbers and Photos

Largest attendance: Russia vs Saudi Arabia, 78,011
Lowest attendance: Egypt vs Uruguay, 27,015
Average attendance: 44,388
Total goals: 85
Hat-tricks: 2
Braces: 8
Penalty kicks: 16
Penalty goals: 13
Free kick goals: 4
Own goals: 5
Goals: Harry Kane ENG (5)
Assists: Aleksandr Golovin RUS (2), James Rodríguez (2), Carlos Sánchez (2)
Shots (excl blocked): Aleksandar Mitrovic SER (10)
Chances created: Kevin De Bruyne (9)
Passes: Sergio Ramos (217)
Saves: Guillermo Ochoa (14)

Yellow cards: 98
Red cards: 2
Most fouls on a single player: 10 (Switzerland vs Neymar)

Group A – Russia (3) vs Egypt (1)

Security Breach
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How do you like me now, Pez?
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Skilz
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Group A – Uruguay (1) vs Saudi Arabia (0)

Hired actor
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How you doin’?
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Group B – Portugal (1) vs Morocco (0)

Moroccan fans in waiting
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A volunteer’s life
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Maybe that bust wasn’t so far off, after all
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The Pepe
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Group B – Iran (0) vs Spain (1)

Progress
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Keep your hands where we can see them at all times, Hierro
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We don’t get Ramos singing either
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Group C – Denmark (1) vs Australia (1)

When 2 become 1
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I just peed a little
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Jumpin’ Jedinak
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Group C – France (1) vs Peru (0)

Devastation
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How did I get here?
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I said I’d come. I never said I’d play.
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Group D – Argentina (0) vs Croatia (3)

No man is an island.
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Help me Ivan. Please.
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Albatross
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The Modric
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Group D – Nigeria vs Iceland

Still no Space Invaders
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The Horde
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Musa-rific!
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Matchy
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Group E – Brazil (2) vs Costa Rica (0)

I will remember this, Casemiro
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How I feel anytime someone wants to talk about Brazil
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Not happening, little buddy, not happening
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Feel the burn
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Group E – Serbia (1) vs Switzerland (2)

Doesn’t this seem Photoshopped??
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Baller
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Team effort
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Faux hulk
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Group F – Korea Republic (1) vs Mexico (2)

Caught
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Where’s my next girlfriend at?
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Consolation
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How does one say shut up in Korean?
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Group F – Germany (2) vs Sweden (1)

Come on, pound me
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The Kroos
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Now I’m as tall as Zlatan!
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The Neuer
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You look unfamiliar; are you new?
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Group G – Belgium (5) vs Tunisia (2)

Tunisian fan power

Maybe Real Madrid will buy me now
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🤩
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Group G – England (6) vs Panama (1)

Swerve
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History
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Ecstasy
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Group H – Japan (2) vs Senegal (2)

Perspective
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Reduce, reuse, recycle, reclaim
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Legend
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Hero
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Group H – Poland (0) vs Colombia (3)

Sunshine on a cloudy day
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The saddest boy
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– hopechaser

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