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Well, Then…

6 Mar

I have been tied up with a project where the deadline was moved up 4 1/2 weeks so that hasn’t left me much time for soccer. However, the past week has clearly not been kind to Los Blancos. I have shook my fist at heaven and cursed at my TV. I’m sure you did the same. But there is always next year and we can’t win everything all the time (clearly). This too shall pass. A small antidote to the fuckery that actually made me crack a smile was this picture of Jese. Let those tiger asses soothe your soul, people! Tomorrow is another day. And as Jese says here, “If you dream about it, you can make it a reality.” So let’s start dreaming about a winning future for our boys. (And seriously, does he mean he dreamed that outfit into reality? Because…damn.)

Hala Madrid y nada mas!

– Lozil

Little Shop Of (Denim) Horrors

19 Feb

So I was in the Century 21 (a big NYC discount store) and ran into a collection of denim clearly curated by Sergio and Guti because let’s be honest, who else could it be? Continue reading

When Frankenshirt Met Frankendress & Other Tales from London

24 Sep

One of the fun things to do every year is see what outrageous fashion appears at The Best awards. I mean, Dani Alves is always worth a look – remember when he went apeshit with a bedazzler? And Messi never disappoints in his sartorial faux pas. Ah, but our Sese in a class by himself as is his missus. The happy couple hit the plane attired in their signature idiosyncractic style. Special shoutout to Pilar’s tangerine studded leather jacket because that is truly something and Sergio is just bein’ Sergio. Note the Frankenshirt. I swear to fuck, this man cannot purchase something that hasn’t been pieced together from seven different other garments. I bet his fave Dolly Parton song is “Coat of Many Colors” Anyhow, at first glance, it’s Frankenlicious, but tame for Sergio. But you really need to see the full thing… Continue reading

He’s Blue (Da Ba Dee Da Ba Daa)

19 Jan

Why is Sergio’s fashion “sense” always the gift that keeps giving? I like to call this one “Smurf Casual” He sure does love his matchy-matchy, doesn’t he?  As always, never change Sergio – you’re too much fun just the way you are.

– Lozi

In Case You Were Wondering What Jese Was Up To…

21 Jun

::snort:: It’s much as you would imagine but at this point he’s out Ramosed The Ramos!

What is that outfit even? He looks like he’s crash landed in some sort of version of Baller Bad Fashion Heaven (which apparently is located in Versailles).  From the waist down, it  is straight up extraneous zippers ahoy! Apparently there is a DSquared store in heaven…  And from the neckline up, it’s so damn 70s that I almost can’t cope.  He seems to be channeling a very nervous undercover Rhoda Morgenstern  being a wallflower at the high school dance if,  you know, Rhoda had a beard and some bitchin’ shades. Wow. Somewhere The Ramos and Guti are shook.

Oh, but there is more… Continue reading

Never Change Cristiano!

5 Nov

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A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

So I saw this picture yesterday and was laughing so hard that I couldn’t post. I’m still laughing. I can’t tell if the look the photographer was going for was “Cristiano passed out in the marigolds in his undies and a designer coat” or  it’s just Cris rolling his eyes and thinking “Jesus, why do they put me in situations like this” and he was caught by the camera. No matter the motivation, this is hilarious. Never change, Cristiano.

– Lozil

Hair Horror: That’s So 2013 Sergio!

24 Jul

lionel-messi-haircutAnd also tres post-Aaron Ramsey.  This look has been done to death, honey. Wasn’t good when they did it, not good now. SMDH.

– Lozil

Something That Did NOT Make My Day: Llorente Fashion Horror

16 Jun

Lord knows I love me some Lion King but is that a leather jacket with jorts? Oh hells no, my Llove.  A sick part of me wants to know what shoes he’s wearing. I’m betting they are mandals. Just a sneaky feeling. His poor friend Damian has an expression like “Oh…um…do we really need to share a picture of this moment, dude? You’re….I mean I’m not really dressed properly and um, yeah okay, whatever. ::resigned sigh::” Let’s cleanse the palate by enjoying some Fer in Armani.

– Lozil

No Excuse For This Nonsense

10 May

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A post shared by Mesut Özil (@m10_official) on

So this happened. And if you think Mesut looks ridiculous in this shot, please do click through because it gets worse. Continue reading

Thanks I Really Needed That, Jese

21 Apr

Sometimes, you’re having a really shitty day and then something comes along to make it all better. And today, that thing is Jese.  He’s like some unholy mishmash of Karim & Sergio with a purloined pair of Cristiano’s sunglasses. There’s also a nod to Guti with the bedazzled sneakers.  Gaauuu, indeed.


– Lozil