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Real Madrid Website “Redesign”

20 Feb
"Dear God, what have they done?!?"

“Dear God, what have they done?!?”

I got home after a hella long stress filled work day  and wanted to update the blog. Of course I went the mothership  to see the training pictures and what do you know, they had launched a redesign. A redesign that made me scream with frustration. Continue reading

It’s Official: Xavi Really Got Married

13 Jul

tumblr_mpw3k3p0BU1rct3fqo1_500Well will you look at that? Xavi’s 2012 Summer of Love stuck! It’s just been a year (almost to the day) that we first set eyes on his lady (at the bottom of this post) and watched while their relationship progressed. Today Xavi and the lovely Núria Cunillera wed at the Marimurtra Botanical Gardens in Blanes, Spain. Continue reading

Call Me Old Fashioned…

18 Jun

No5…but I think butt cleavage is for private times…and plumbers. So I was surprised to see Wojciech Szczęsny’s lady friend Patrycja Wojnarowska flashing crack at a social eventContinue reading

Absolutely And Utterly Do. Not. Want.

13 Aug

I really need to stay away from Instagram. I must. Tonight Kaka’s wife Carol said she wants to read (or is reading) the 50 Shades of Grey books and I almost had heart failure. I sounded like Shiggers when Kaka was walking towards us to do his corner at Yankees Stadium. I had a hand over my mouth in horror going “No, no, no, no, NO!”  The idea of this is just horrifying to me. It’s also kinda funny because this weekend on our road trip we decided to buy the book on a whim (okay, after quite a bit of whiskey) and dramatically read excerpts aloud while drinking cocktails with predictably hilarious results (poor ginboonmiller, he got dragged into a whole girls’ weekend experience and bless him, he rolled with it all). Is Kaka really gonna be down with Carol reading mommy porn?! Oy vey.

– Lozil


Mazel Tov: Watishista! Wedding Day

20 Aug

The big day is finally here! The very first watishista! wedding.  My beloved partner in crime Shiggers and her completely amazeballs man, ginboonmiller are tying the knot.  These crazy kids met at a World Cup match and fell ass over teakettle in love.  As you do (or should!) They both have impeccable taste in life partners (and friends ::ahem::). I’m so lucky and blessed to have them both in my life. Here’s a little something Iker and I cooked up for the event with our rudimentary video skills.  Iker’s gone through the five stages of grief over this and has come out the other side. Bless. Here’s wishing the happy couple a life full of love and happiness. And footy. And out jazz. And all the other things that make living a pleasure.  Now it’s time for me to put on my big wedding hat and my dancing shoes and join the rest of the Brooklyn Sweaty Shanks Pena to celebrate.

Much much love, Lozil

PS For those who were curious to see the engagement ring, peep this – I took a close up shot – now you see why we gasped? I may mug her myself! 😉  It was ginboonmiller’s great grandma’s ring – isn’t that so lovely?

Wonder What Xavi Had To Say About That?

29 Jul

Barca is in Washington, DC to play Manchester United.  So they thought that they’d have a kickabout on the National Mall with a little photo op. Not so quickly, gentlemen. Get your arses off the grass! The lady park ranger is having none of this “we are football” nonsense. She doesn’t care if you’re football, you’re not walking on the nation’s official damn greenery. End of story. Villa’s bitchface as he gets back on the bus is epic.  You just don’t mess with the US Parks Service.  They are straight up serious.  No word on if the ranger waved goodbye and mumbled  either  “Hala Madrid” or Glory, Glory Man United” under her breath as the spurned Catalans drove away, but I think it’s less a matter of partisanship and more about lawn care. 😉 (Video and story via Dirty Tackle)

If You Don’t Want to Kiss Him, I’d Be HAPPY To!

8 Jul

I never realized that having to smooch all up on Iker Casillas was a trauma, but I am willing to sacrifice myself put poor Sara out of her misery. 😉 I see she does give in, eventually. Maybe he was being a pain in the arse as only boys can. Perhaps he had Dorito breath. I would never allow anyone with Dorito breath to kiss me. I have an almost pathological fear of those damn things.  Either way, they’re cute together. One more picture after the jump. Both photos courtesy of Fleurdelamadrid1’s tumblr.
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Gerard Pique Is Apparently Derek Smalls*

7 May

This is making the rounds of the internet and I have to admit that it’s hilarious. I mean, I’d heard before that Pique was packing serious action and from the evidence here, it appears to be more than true. Well, then, good for you, Shakira.  I’m not a fan of Pique (or as one person on ONTD_Football put it “now we know what she sees in the tool: his tool”) but this was too funny and jaw dropping not to share. I can’t believe this exists – it’s comedy gold from The X Files beginning, the clips of Shakira overreacting at the Copa Del Rey game onward. But really I don’t think it’s going to bother Pique in the slightest because A. He appears to have a massive dick B. He’s dating Shakira and C. Barca is in the finals of the Champions League. The dude has no worries.

*If you are not a fan of This Is Spinal Tap, why the hell not?!

Just When I Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

2 Apr

I’m not ready to talk about the game just yet. Not by a long shot. But I have to tell you what happened post-game. First, I’m going to take a quick minute to appreciate Manu’s abs because that’s about the only thing I can appreciate about him today. JAY-SUS. Anyhow, I left the pub in tears and proceeded to the grocery store to pick up some Ben & Jerry’s and beer so I could drown my sorrows. As I was paying, I saw the cover of the New York Daily News. “TERROR TEACH!” it blared. It was the cover story about a Brooklyn art teacher who allegedly made remarks that she was going to “settle some scores” and threatened some Columbine action at the school. She was arrested yesterday. What did she choose to do her perp walk in, you may ask?

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More on the Lyon game…

23 Feb

I found a few more pictures from the Lyon game that tickled my fancy…

I mean, SERIOUSLY, Real Madrid? You thought this was an AWESOME shot to grace your front page this morning?! Mesut looks like the Prince of the Undead about to suck away Karim’s lifeblood! OH WAIT A MINUTE! I’ve figured it out! This is another example of your attempts to position Ozil for the tween market! Yesterday, you were giving him the full on Bieber powder treatment and today, you’re getting all Twilight on his ass! Smart marketing. Color me impressed. But wait! Does that mean that… Continue reading