Tag Archives: Fashion Crime

Well, Then…

6 Mar

I have been tied up with a project where the deadline was moved up 4 1/2 weeks so that hasn’t left me much time for soccer. However, the past week has clearly not been kind to Los Blancos. I have shook my fist at heaven and cursed at my TV. I’m sure you did the same. But there is always next year and we can’t win everything all the time (clearly). This too shall pass. A small antidote to the fuckery that actually made me crack a smile was this picture of Jese. Let those tiger asses soothe your soul, people! Tomorrow is another day. And as Jese says here, “If you dream about it, you can make it a reality.” So let’s start dreaming about a winning future for our boys. (And seriously, does he mean he dreamed that outfit into reality? Because…damn.)

Hala Madrid y nada mas!

– Lozil

Little Shop Of (Denim) Horrors

19 Feb

So I was in the Century 21 (a big NYC discount store) and ran into a collection of denim clearly curated by Sergio and Guti because let’s be honest, who else could it be? Continue reading

When Frankenshirt Met Frankendress & Other Tales from London

24 Sep

One of the fun things to do every year is see what outrageous fashion appears at The Best awards. I mean, Dani Alves is always worth a look – remember when he went apeshit with a bedazzler? And Messi never disappoints in his sartorial faux pas. Ah, but our Sese in a class by himself as is his missus. The happy couple hit the plane attired in their signature idiosyncractic style. Special shoutout to Pilar’s tangerine studded leather jacket because that is truly something and Sergio is just bein’ Sergio. Note the Frankenshirt. I swear to fuck, this man cannot purchase something that hasn’t been pieced together from seven different other garments. I bet his fave Dolly Parton song is “Coat of Many Colors” Anyhow, at first glance, it’s Frankenlicious, but tame for Sergio. But you really need to see the full thing… Continue reading

The Sergio Ramos School of Fashion

3 Sep

Now, in my warped mind, Sergio is giving this dude his shirt as a reward for his very Ramos-esque fashion skillz. The jeans with an applique, the reddish boots with some sort of design and the denim Frankencoat Jr. with the sheep fur collar (isn’t it a bazillion degrees in Spain right now?!). Please, please, please let the letters on the collar actually spell out ‘Ramos’. In my fantasies, it certainly does.

However, in reality, this is Colombian singer Maluma, who like vintage Sese, is very tatted up, long haired and muscly (enjoy his Instagram feed if you’re down with that action). He’s in Spain on tour and getting to the Bernabeu was a dream come true for him. He also has a new video with Shakira called Clandestino which features Shak expertly twirling da chiffon on a beach like she’s the Colombian Katia Aveiro.

But whether reality or my (admittedly better) alternative, let’s just pour out a bottle of Drakkar Noir in recognition for these awesome fashion stylings of this very pretty man. Jese could never.

– Lozil

Tuesday Training, Questionable Style and Doggies!

15 May

Ooof, some seriously wild weather here in NYC tonight. Torrential rain, trees down, power outages, thunder, lightning, hail…you name it. Hopefully I can get this post out and don’t lose power.  Continue reading

He’s Blue (Da Ba Dee Da Ba Daa)

19 Jan

Why is Sergio’s fashion “sense” always the gift that keeps giving? I like to call this one “Smurf Casual” He sure does love his matchy-matchy, doesn’t he?  As always, never change Sergio – you’re too much fun just the way you are.

– Lozi

In Case You Were Wondering What Jese Was Up To…

21 Jun

::snort:: It’s much as you would imagine but at this point he’s out Ramosed The Ramos!

What is that outfit even? He looks like he’s crash landed in some sort of version of Baller Bad Fashion Heaven (which apparently is located in Versailles).  From the waist down, it  is straight up extraneous zippers ahoy! Apparently there is a DSquared store in heaven…  And from the neckline up, it’s so damn 70s that I almost can’t cope.  He seems to be channeling a very nervous undercover Rhoda Morgenstern  being a wallflower at the high school dance if,  you know, Rhoda had a beard and some bitchin’ shades. Wow. Somewhere The Ramos and Guti are shook.

Oh, but there is more… Continue reading