His Dream…My Nightmare

I bet he’d be pleased as punch if there was an entire world filled with Xavis. Me? Not so much. But a world filled with Xabis? Now that I could get behind. Make it so, Universe! Pretty please?

– Lozil

No Excuse For This Nonsense

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A post shared by Mesut Özil (@m10_official) on May 9, 2015 at 11:12am PDT

So this happened. And if you think Mesut looks ridiculous in this shot, please do click through because it gets worse.

Thanks I Really Needed That, Jese

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simplemente YO!! guauuu! 😎 Sesión de fotos de hoy para lo que se aproxima ➡️dicelo @delaghettoreal

A post shared by Jesé Rodríguez (@jeserodriguez10) on Apr 16, 2015 at 11:56am PDT

Sometimes, you’re having a really shitty day and then something comes along to make it all better. And today, that thing is Jese.  He’s like some unholy mishmash of Karim & Sergio with a purloined pair of Cristiano’s sunglasses. There’s also a nod to Guti with the bedazzled sneakers.  Gaauuu, indeed.

Bless.

– Lozil

Throwback Thursday Hair Horror

As you all know, we here at HB & HB  love to bitch and moan about the horrific hairstyles ‘ballers foist upon us. But honestly, kids, we don’t know real pain. I thought I’d just remind y’all what that’s about. But warning: this is not for the faint of heart. Case in point: Luis Figo who is looking all suave and urbane in the fotito above. Sure, he sometimes wears challenging attire when playing golf, but that’s whimsical. Cute, right? Mildly quirky! Well, back in 1991, Figo looked like this…

World Cup 2014: I Just Can’t Even With This Tattoo

Remember last month when I was ragging on Mesut for getting the same words tattooed on him as Zlatan? Well, I’ve finally seen the whole tattoo and I must tell you, it’s worse than I could have possibly imagined. You may need some eye/brain bleach for the utter cheesiness. 

World Cup 2014 – Slowly Step Away From The Beats By Dre

Mygypsyspirit found this little gem. Most of us (well, over 12 million to date) have seen the big splashy Beats by Dre ad featuring Neymar, Chompers (aka Luis Suarez) and Jozy Altidore.

An Itty Bitty Burrito Baby And What Hath Karim Wrought?

Marta captured Calleti and baby India napping on their vacation. She’s so tiny! (and four days younger than My Littler Pony) I love it when wee bebes are all wrapped up burrito-style. So sweet!

What’s not so sweet is Karim’s influence on the younger members of Les Bleus.

Okay, Sese, You’re Off The Hook (For Now)

So someone has actually out Sergio Ramosed Sergio Ramos in the fashion department. Not possible you say? Well, I beg to differ.  I give you the fashion stylings of Barca’s Alex Song.

Now normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to Alex now that he’s no longer a Gunner, but I stumbled upon John Brennan’s article on SWOL and had to share the photos he compiled because they are jaw dropping.  I think I’m going to need to check Song’s Instagram regularly.

Let’s start out with a mild one. Red jeans, green shoes. ::shrug:: That’s just Guti going out to get a newspaper, right? But that’s just the tip of the fashion disaster iceberg.

Updated: The Team Heads To The US, Sergio Apparently Has Head Injury & Thinks He’s Neymar

You better take off your clothes a lot this summer. Just sayin’

There is no other explanation for him showing up with that shitshow of a hairdo. Xabi Alonso is off screen vomiting into a trash can. Sese, why you wanna ruin The Pretty?! ::shudder::

The team is all back together! The rest of the squad arrived, had their medicals and then headed for the airport. UPDATED TO ADD MORE PICTURES FROM THE PLANE

Sort That Out Before You Return To Madrid, Young Man!

Oh Karim. WHY?! You really need to do something about that asymmetrical dead animal puff/pelt on your head pronto. Who told you that was a good look? Who?  Because they so obviously HATE YOUR GUTS. Friends don’t let friends look like they’ve stapled roadkill onto their scalp.  Dreadful. Just dreadful. He’s gone straight into Men On Film territory.

(PS Karim shared that picture to wish everyone Ramadan Mubarak. HB & HB extends the same wishes to all our Muslim Watishistas. Kul ‘am wa enta bi-khair!)

– Lozil